Yesterday was one of those pivotal junctures in life where reality shows up with unexpected high-intensity chaos.
In the face of these jaw-dropping surprises you have a choice: let the drama override the lesson. Or let the lesson reveal itself by quieting the riot within.
At times like this, meditation becomes more than a practice–it’s like an emergency medical intervention.
Yesterday, with my dog Leela beside me (she is my co-pilot), I sat down in the late day sun to meditate on a turn of events that had blindsided me. What happened next was extraordinary. There really are no words for the kind of emergence into truth that outer discord can midwife.
I expected to still my mind, which admittedly was looping in its trial lawyer aspect, which loves to churn out facts and dig up evidence. This inner-lawyer is a purist–she is always on the side of justice and never defends the bad guy. She’s a fierce advocate for setting the record straight and I love her on my team.
But yesterday she was on tear, building a Supreme Court worthy case in a situation where winning was impossible and frankly, unnecessary. The upset itself was a portal to something, I only had to stop defending and step into surrendering.
My meditation catapulted me into another realm of possibility. It revealed the infinite perfection and perfect love in all happenings, no matter how “wrong” or “WTF” they seem on the surface.
The story of my upset is not what I want to share. What I bring to you today is a poem, written the day after, in the afterglow of Her love. Let it speak to your heart…it’s a song that carries the melody of remembrance for those willing and ready to recall the truth of who they are in the face of life’s storms.
My heart came with a price tag,
a cost so high I assumed
I could never afford it.
I window shopped instead
looking through glass
at infinite love.
I knew this precious heart
was mine, that should I risk
the expense of owning it,
courage would plunder
my life, rendering
All I stood to lose
was the suspicion
I was undeserving.
What a strange thought.
How could God not want me
when my heart flutters in adoration
at her slightest appearance
and pounds a beat of insistent
devotion when her eye meets mine?
One day, when the yearning was bigger
than the doubt, I gave up window-shopping.
I walked into the shop
laid my all worldly boon on the table
and left with the treasure
of my heart.
Now—filthy rich in the currency
of surrender and adorned with pearls
of compassion—I know.
I know there was never anything
The window shop glass
I imagined stood between me
and my heart was my creation,
the wanting from afar nothing
more than a game of here
Between here and there is everywhere. And
it’s filled with heart.
Awareness is Here,
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Featured Image: Andrew Gonzales, Yemanja, Awakening of the Heart