Bending the Reality Spoon


I was nine years old when my first miracle happened. It was June, and a school field trip to the zoo was about to be cancelled in light of a monsoon-like morning.  The torrential rain was forecast to continue well into the next day. I’d been looking forward to this outing for weeks and, like […]

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What is This Form For?


With the dissolution of the dream self four months ago, I woke up to the shocking realization I’d spent a lifetime with an undiagnosed case of mistaken identity. Like someone with amnesia, in place of true nature, there was a construct called Lori-Ann, a fabrication that suffered from the push away and pull toward pleasures […]

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Empty Mind, Full Heart


Four months ago I fell off the edge of an identity called Lori Ann, into a sweet free-fall where each unfolding moment reveals itself as my lover.  Sometimes this lover is rough, riding me hard, bitch slapping me with chaos and change. Other times my beloved kisses me tenderly with the beauty of what is […]

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Eight Possible Truths about Enlightenment


Ever since I noticed I don’t exist, I’ve been discovering hundreds of other no-selves all over the world–on Facebook pages, online forums, websites, blogs and even in my local community. In these new virtual and actual meetings, my reporter personality (still here) has been busy asking questions about this radical change of perspective called waking […]

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Why People Don’t Wake Up (and how they can)


A reader recently asked me, “What I really want to know is what lead to your awakening? What life were you leading that contributed to this event?” He wondered if there was a certain way to cultivate a fertile ground for enlightenment, a kind of prerequisite plan. Well, for one, by the time I awoke […]

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Enlightenment Sex


Before I woke up, I was sexually identified. By that I mean I saw myself as loveable depending on my sex life–namely did I have one and was it pleasing to my partner? And in addition to those basic psychological hooks for well-being was a sexual rebel persona determined to anti-script my frigid family system. […]

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Enlightenment Smarties


Two nights after I woke up from the daydream of reality, I had a night dream. In it, I was eating a colorful treat from my childhood called “Smarties,” little round disks of candy-coated chocolate. A month later I understand the meaning of this symbolic dream. When all the clutter of a mind preoccupied with […]

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Letting Go Gracefully


Stuff is falling away, and so are people and places. My coveted book collection is on yard sale and giveaway status:  Everything from quantum theory, to psychology theory, to conspiracy theory and much more, is leaving. What do I really need to know, that I will not know in the moment? Other than a how-to […]

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