Zen – The Awakened Dreamer

Let the Games Begin: How to Play with God

In the apocalypse of my awakening, there followed a period of such sublime distinterest in the world and its shenanigans, I wondered if I would ever get off the sofa and do anything again.

by Lori Ann Lothian

My Lover, My Muse

I remember a time when sitting down to write was a chore. It didn’t matter that writing is my profession of choice, and that I’d spent years eagerly refining compelling lead sentences at newspapers and magazines. Or that I had several unpublished labors of love-hate, full-length book manuscripts that had at one time swept me […]

by Lori Ann Lothian

Five Things My Dog Taught Me About God

I have a pet theory, no pun intended, that God is really a dog. Forget a bearded fellow on a throne, a crafty one-eyed Odin, or any number of fierce sword or skull wielding goddesses. Even forget softies like compassionate Kwan Yin or hearth-tending Hestia. God has four legs—meaning any anthropomorphic diety clearly is two […]

by Lori Ann Lothian

Death of the Narrator

Do you ever stop to listen to your thoughts? If you do, you’ll notice that other than occasional functional, creative or investigative thought, the thinking mind has three full time jobs: It reflects on the past, it projects the future or it comments on the present. Waking up, at least for me, was the instant […]

by Lori Ann Lothian

Enlightenment in A Handbag

For years I joked that when I found the perfect purse, I’d know I’d attained enlightenment. This would be a handbag with an easy-access outer pouch for my cell phone, not too many internal compartments for losing stuff, and a kind of all-season quality that would make it fashionable in summer or winter. In search […]

by Lori Ann Lothian

What is This Form For?

With the dissolution of the dream self four months ago, I woke up to the shocking realization I’d spent a lifetime with an undiagnosed case of mistaken identity. Like someone with amnesia, in place of true nature, there was a construct called Lori-Ann, a fabrication that suffered from the push away and pull toward pleasures […]

by Lori Ann Lothian

Empty Mind, Full Heart

Four months ago I fell off the edge of an identity called Lori Ann, into a sweet free-fall where each unfolding moment reveals itself as my lover. Sometimes this lover is rough, riding me hard, bitch slapping me with chaos and change. Other times my beloved kisses me tenderly with the beauty of what is […]

by Lori Ann Lothian

Eight Possible Truths about Enlightenment

Ever since I noticed I don’t exist, I’ve been discovering hundreds of other no-selves all over the world–on Facebook pages, online forums, websites, blogs and even in my local community. In these new virtual and actual meetings, my reporter personality (still here) has been busy asking questions about this radical change of perspective called waking […]

by Lori Ann Lothian

Six Symptoms of Enlightenment

The day after waking up from the dream of being a separate self, the everyday took on an enlightenment afterglow. Three months later I’m still tickled by what I call “the indescribable lightness of wow,” a kind of newborn fresheness from which life is perceived. What is this wow? With the caveat that what arose […]

by Lori Ann Lothian

Why People Don’t Wake Up (and how they can)

A reader recently asked me, “What I really want to know is what lead to your awakening? What life were you leading that contributed to this event?” He wondered if there was a certain way to cultivate a fertile ground for enlightenment, a kind of prerequisite plan. Well, for one, by the time I awoke […]