Day 33: What if abandonment, betrayal and shame are fictions? What then?
You probably never stopped to think about what being psychologically wounded really means—what happens when we are shamed, betrayed or abandoned?
At its core, each of these wounds is a dent in your sense of innocence. But how that dent impacts you precisely depends on at what age the wounding was encountered.
As a young child these wounds are taken to mean “I am bad. “ As we get older, we say to ourselves, “My behavior was bad.” And as adults, we end up with the perception that the other (our perpetrator) is bad.
But none of these three ways of perceiving abandonment, betrayal and shaming is accurate. Nor healing.
Because the truth is that blaming self. situation or other is just the flip side of attack. We are attacked and we lash back with blame—self blame or blaming other, it’s still blame. And blame is a part of the duality mindset.
And guess what? Magic does NOT reside there. Rather, wonderment arises from the recognition of connectivity not separation. So, how do you break out of the blame game?
When you feel victimized by people or circumstances the cure is forgiveness. It is the ONLY CURE.
But you cannot forgive a person or circumstance because in so doing you invest your belief energy in the concept of right and wrong. You forgive the bad guy and you are the good guy for your magnanimousness. It’s like Rumi says, “Beyond wrong doing and right doing is a field. i will meet you there.”
Instead of forgiving a person, including yourself, forgive your mistaken perception. There is a quote in the teaching A Course in Miracles that says:
Nothing real can be harmed. Nothing unreal exists.
Really ponder this quote for a minute. What it points at is nothing short of revolutionary. It suggests that only the unreal is harmed.
If you are invested in your identity as a victim, the news that you can forgive your belief you were ever really harmed will be a hard pill to swallow. You will defend your right to be a victim with all the desperation of a drowning swimmer. You see, it’s your finite self that feels harmed or threatened. But you are not that self. You are infinity clothed in form.
Until that truth is recognized directly as a knowing, the finite self will kick and scream to hold on to its conviction it was wronged. Why? Because It needs the friction of conflict to exist.
The peace and magic of being is your finite self’s worst fear. It believes it will be annihilated by your awakening…and to ensure its fictional existence, it puts up a tremendous fuss in the form of “what is wrong with reality.”
And sure, if what is wrong is only a long line at the grocery store, your finite self doesn’t stand a chance against the light of awareness. But if the “what is wrong story” involves heavy hitters like shame, betrayal and abandonment, your egoic mind has a fortress of victim identity to keep the light at bay.
Assignment: Today we are going to dip our toe in the waters of real forgiveness in preparation for the next few days of complete willingness to heal and easy and simple methods to allow it. But first, before healing and a return to innocence is possible, you must let go of the belief that you can ever really be harmed or ever were harmed. That the real you is so mighty and overflowing with love, that even the most grievous perception of harm can be dissolved in the light of truth.
You don’t have to believe this with 100 percent certainty, but do not reject this truth either. Sit with it. Let it percolate. Ask for dream guidance about if this IS true. Look for signs. Simply entertain that harm to the real you is not possible. And then takes notes in the next 24 hours as you hold that possibility in your heart.
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