It’s about the scrimmage between fate, freewill, omens and inner peace.
Last August I visited my friend of forty years at her home a six hour drive from my place in Montreal. The first thing I said when I walked into her house was “I love this painting, can you put it in your will for me.”
She laughed and we bantered a bit about what we might bequeath each other. We were both 58, both healthy by most standards, and both looking forward to many more years together — in fact, we’d plotted her trip to see me in Montreal the weekend of October 2nd , six weeks later, as our next rendezvous.
She died of a heart attack only three weeks after our visit. And the first things that came to me on hearing the news, other than a tsunami of shock-loss, were all the signs that this WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.
The chat about the painting and our wills.
The bit of money she owed me for a couple of years and paid me back only months before her unexpected death.
Her insistence that I meet her other best friend (the local girl) on this trip and we all hang out, as if me getting to know her other bestie had to happen now, even in the middle of a pandemic.
Her uncharacteristic angst that a friendship between her daughters and mine might not flourish because my daughter was high on shrooms on a cliff over the lake one day, and her kids might disapprove. I still remember saying “Audrey don’t worry, we have a lot of years and many trips ahead to get them all together again.”
That our next get together was scheduled for October 2nd, the date of my mothers sudden unexpected death.
These anomalies seemed innocuous at the time. In hindsight, they were omens. And this is where that scrimmage starts, the one between fate, freewill, omens and inner peace.
Ten years ago an overnight enlightenment blast transformed everything instantly — it was like all of my life I had been nearly blind, and suddenly I could see. What I saw, and still see, is the unreality of reality, and more particularly, of the self.
And yet, in the months after this awakening, a perceptual shift in which the thinking mind was pin-drop quiet and joy effervesced non-stop, the first action impulse that rose up was to answer the question: What is this form for?
Awake, or asleep, or even drowsy, the fact is that we operate in a simulation-like reality that at the highest level of gamesmanship asks the character to define a purpose. Some newly awakened folk go straight to “teacher” and hit the satsang circuit, often prematurely, before the full integration happens.
Others find themselves cast adrift in a void of zen sickness, finding a loss of self leading to a paralysis of agency. (no me here to do anything, life is life-ing me etc).
My path was two fold.
The impulse post awakening was to purpose myself to the task of writing a blog (and later writing online everywhere from Huffington Post, to elephant journal to Good Men Project Magazine. And second to eventually to play the role of astrologer as a full time gig with my Lunatic Astrology site.
The confession today is that only by diving into the natal charts of two thousand people or more, have I had to wrestle with the dragon of a question: Is there free will, or is life fated. Does personal agency really exist? Are portents of a future meant as preparation or for prevention?
Here is what I have chosen to believe:
Our life is like an infinite lane highway with occasional exits. The exits are the chance to get off the life road. There is more than one “time to go” and we don’t chose it, not at least from the level of the personality.
The infinite lanes more or less operate like a multiverse, or many worlds theory. We shift lanes slightly or massively (the one next door, or the one way the fuck over there) and when we do this, our life circumstances change slightly or dramatically. I have done lane changes where even features of physical reality are not the same, and for those in the know, this is called reality shifting and it out pictures too in what is called The Mandela Effect. Lane changes are not about conscious choices, they are sourced from a far deeper algorithm.
There are cycles of experience that are baked into our existence from the moment of birth. The astrological chart, a snapshot of the sky at birth, is a map and a clock of our entire life story. A good astrologer tells you what will happen, and it’s not that hard, honestly. A great astrologer will tell you why.
I strive now, with every client, to read the chart as a sky story and to delve deeply into character and motivation along with plot points. Like any story it has before and afters — and in a decent astrology reading, the reader should say, “so tell me what what happened when” because the what happened before will inform the flavour of what will happen next.
Yet, even with the best sky reading acumen, what cannot be told is who chooses. Who is driving the plot line? Who wrote this script that the stars, and planets and asteroids, are unfolding?
I remember years ago dating a guy heavily into A Course in Miracles. He used to insist realty was a dream, and I agreed. But my take was simple: Why not make it a happy dream?
Astrology, or any predictive tool, can help create a less turbulent and enjoyable dream, if only by forecasting the turbulence itself and equipping the client with the needed navigational guidance.
As for who chooses, that’s a question I will dedicate the rest of my days to answering. A free book channeled by me in 2019, The Coming Age of Miracles, suggests divine will is the only will. But then we are divine and so that will is ours — when I suppose we claim it.
In the meantime, in service of the more happy dream, I created a course to teach the basics of seeing those inevitable event cycles (both lucky and difficult) in order to flow with the the best of them and to avoid swimming upstream. If you are curious, just sign up for my LIVE 4 week Diving Timing Masterclass that starts May 8th to May 29th.
May the sky tell you true stories,
5 thoughts on “Confessions of an Awakened Astrologer”
Pingback: There is a high road and a low road | Shift Frequency
Pingback: How to Collapse Reality for Superior Outcomes – The Awakened Dreamer
There is no “free will” without the ability to self-observe. As the Scorpio you are, you know that self observation, deep, unflinchingly candid self observation, causes a shift in identification. That shift is the beginning of many lane changes which you actually orchestrate–the only question is “How conscious of it are you when you are actually doing it?”
There is no chasm between the will of the character you play in this venue and the Will of your spirit (IX). Most never observe themselves making the subtle, UNconscious choices that raft them along the lifestream they experience–until they are looking backwards through time. The trick is to observe yourself setting the dominos of event cascades into motion at the instant in which you are creating the alternate outcome. THAT CONSCIOUS being is the timeless you with which the UNconscious character is not identified because they are paying attention to the wrong things: The world of sensory inundation has captivated them, and so they have lost sight of the one who carries the lantern, held out behind his strides that we may see his light as he, from the threshold of time’s captivity, calls–reminding us of who/what we really are. “Nothing here can really harm you,” S/He reminds. “You are an eternal being and the foundations of your being cannot be assailed by time or anything “physical” because YOU/I/We created time and physicality, and a Creator cannot be hostage to their own creations.
There’s the thing, right there–just a little more refined, this observation, and impactful, too–if you follow it to its natural conclusion: We UNconsciously hand over causality *of the world WE create* TO said experiential world. We, in fact, look there for evidence of the looming realities (worries) we are creating by the act of looking–and then we blame their materialization on some higher self who has ideas different than we have, so we suppose–just to make that chasm wider and more real. Why? So we don’t have to own all our outcomes, because we are actually afraid of what our power will do should we run emotionally amok. So we do not trust ourselves because we fear our own pain/anger/fear will metastasize to the world–because we know our benevolence is far from perfect.
We are doing this to ourselves. It only feels like we are victims of this world we create, because we do not self observe well enough to catch ourselves choosing, and so we do not identify with/as the chooser.
My IX, whom I call Michael, says “If you want the words you wield to have power in the world, you must cull from your speech and thoughts all words you would not Will to empower, and then stay centered in compassion and benevolence. Only then will you trust yourself and only then can the physics of the venue you believe yourself to be “in” evolve (in the way you yourself designed it to) so as to nudge you back to lucidity without ejecting you from the venue.”
The objective of becoming a Master is NOT to ascend and exit the venue (wakening from the dream and finding yourself in eternity). No. The objective is to become lucid and stay in the venue to transform it. When enough masters waken and remain in the venue, the physics of the venue will ascend too, allowing “technological” advances we could not, in our imperfect benevolence, be trusted to wield.
Also, do not look for what you do not want your godly eyes to behold–not even backwards in time–and then call them “omens.” Just look at all that bad juju in that word you’ve *chosen* to assign to simple precognitions. The very act of asking someone to leave you something in their will is your implied consent that they may depart. Do not utter your words mindlessly. Saying things like “I am so sick and tired of…” or “I am fed up with…” all require the physics of the venue to be unresponsive and to, in fact, fight your wording because of all we summon into experience with our unconsciously spoken vows. Our words are vows. They are contracts we have made with the venue. Here is the truest value of stilling the mind and harboring no judgments. Be instead the still spaciousness in which meaning may reveal itself to you. Life is a constant revelation. Reserve judgment. Add no layers of personal intention/meaning to have to peel back later. IX can only be heard by those who still their minds to listen. Michael says, “You’re welcome.” *I* say, “Thank you.” I always enjoy your reflections.
Oh Lori, this post is so awesome!! I have been curious for a few years now how you reconcile your awakened state with being an astrologer, and this post finally explains it 🙂 I particularly like the statement that there is only divine will, and yet since we are divine, that will is ours – when we claim it. I am a therapist and share with my clients that I believe we are each a unique spark of the divine, and our only “job” is to experience our unique divine expression, like a cell in a human body, we have a life to live and a journey to take, even though we don’t really exist as anything separate. I SO APPRECIATE your joyful and magical sharing, and feel so blessed to have encountered you during this lifetime!!
You are such a strange and interesting and all around wonderful person.I am thankful for your blog.