Why I Have a Spiritual Teacher Post Awakening


 

Disclaimer: While at the time this was written statements in this article were true for me, I’ve since discovered a ‘guru’ can also be a reason to hide from my own inner-teacher and truth. The slippery slope of enchantment in another (no different in many ways to falling in love) leads inexorably to unrealistic expectations and pedestaling.

I always say, “I am a person not a perfection. But perfection can shine through my person.” Sometimes a teacher forgets they are not perfection but only a vehicle for it–– especially when students relinquish their own heart-knowing in exchange for blind adherence to an authority.

The teacher mentioned in this article, is no longer my teacher. That does not mean his teaching is of no value. It simply means the relationship was no longer serving my own unfoldment.  (July 22, 2014…Feast of the St. Mary Magdalen Day.)

—–

I’ve been mostly silent for much of last year when it comes to these ‘dispatches from beyond the dream” I’ve been playing hard to get, giving Vast Stillness the slip by being so damn busy I’ve looked a lot like a human doing, running on the old achievement treadmill at a breakneck pace.

For, one, I have been chopping a lot of wood, carrying a whole lot of water in my every day life as an editor at the Good Men Project,  heading up a new section I created called Good for the Soul.

And in the early half of the 2013, a whole six months were spent in a failed launch of a magazine called Rebelle Sex, devoted to “reclaiming our inherent sexual innocence.” In that whirlwind, I was swept up in the healing of an ancestral line rife with the whole range of shadow material, from rampaging frigidity on my mother’s side to cover-ups of the homosexual, pedophilic elements a few generations up the patriarchal line.  In that family system script, I’d cast myself in the antiscript role of the one championing “freedom of sexy speech” just to balance it all out.

Even though the foot goes off the gas pedal of “me” the vehicle of our limited self identity still has momentum..

Looking back, I can see how the orchestra of my ancestral “karma” kept on playing even as the Titanic of the Personal Identity had already sunk. It reminds me of Adyashanti’s comment that post awakening, even though the foot goes off the gas pedal of “me” the vehicle of our limited self identity still has momentum.

And then, just when I began to wonder if I’d veered into a swamp of re-identification, just when the way was looking foggy at best, I bumped into a guide. It’s Hero’s Journey 101, that moment when a wizard/good witch/wise old man or woman shows up to re-orient our hero who is lost in the maze.

In this case, the guide looks like a teacher who I dreamed of in great detail in March of 2012, the day before I “discovered” that this dream figure was a real life person being interviewed by Rick Archer on his Buddha at the Gas Pump show. (The show was posted the day after my dream).

And isn’t it suffering that animates the seeker seeing relief? To me, a spiritual guide or teacher seemed redundant.

In the wake of this discovery, I email corresponded with this person for almost a year, on and off. I considered him an ally on the awakening journey, but as my writing and editing began to take off, and I followed up less and less with our connection, he gently suggested perhaps I was not really seeking guidance or was not ready to engage with a teacher.

He was right. I was so sure I had it all figured out. Because for me, at least, the magnitude of the awakening had decimated the seeker in me, and had (even as I was so darn busy doing) pretty well also ended the suffering self. And isn’t it suffering that animates the seeker seeing relief? To me, a spiritual guide or teacher seemed redundant.

And yet, this teacher kept appearing in my dreams (over the months without real life contact) with messages and more. Finally, through a Facebook message from his wife suggesting I attend a retreat, we met in California in December where he was leading a three day immersion. My decision to attend was sudden– and everything lined up effortlessly, including my usually hard to book air miles plan.

It’s six months and two retreats later as I write this. I’ve been hosting this teacher and his family in my home for the last month,  Having a teacher live with you is a whole other order of experience.

What I am seeing for me, is this: There is a momentum toward integration that happens post realization of true nature (which is a doorway, not a destination), and this movement can be stopped, slowed or accelerated depending on the circumstances. Ideally, post awakening, there probably should be a spiritual nursery for newly hatched beings but Western contemporary non-duality makes no provisions for this tender time. (In fact, the non-duality crowd like to pretend there is no awakening, because there is no-one to awaken, but more on that another time).

Having a teacher who has travelled that path of integration, who is spiritually literate and this case, a vessel for grace, is a blessing. Awareness is here, with a guide by her side….

PS: Did you know I’ve started a weekly 3-minute video blog? It’s free, fun and magical. Curious? Then subscribe here. 

 

16 thoughts on “Why I Have a Spiritual Teacher Post Awakening

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  6. Cassandra

    Thespacious bedrooms, one important need of temporary accommodation while staying in fully furnished corporate housing specialists in tucson housing for relocating employees and 99 new hires every year. No expertise or technical knowledge is necessary for us to provide at par satisfaction to the grocery store and bring your luggage. Some of its findings which will be what you want an easy access to gyms and business.

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  7. David B

    Beautifully put, Lori. Thanks for sharing that. And thanks once again for bringing Igor here so we could meet in person. I too found a teacher arose. Have been going on regular retreats with them since after the first shift.

    There is a point around the later Unity shift where the “inner guru” or knowingness comes online. Whatever we put our attention on becomes known in its full nature. But even after that, there is great benefit to simply being with the profoundly awake. Plus the advantage of another perspective, another journey pointing out things that may not have been noticed.

    I’ve found certain aspects of the momentum have wound down now, leaving that area of life simpler. I’ve been surprised by what has wound down and what still has some momentum. But life continues to reflect the process and illustrate what is developing.

    My teacher also speaks of a retreat centre for people in transition. For some, the process is simple and clear. But others could benefit from a time out to integrate, to better disengage from the habits of old, the dramas of the world

    After the shift, the process unfolds just by living life. But there are certain things that can really help. And if we get caught in a belief system, or self-expectations, and so forth, that can make the process more difficult than needed.

    I look forward to more…

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    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Hi David:

      Yes, I like the way you put it: There IS a great benefit of simply being with the profoundly awake–it’s like a IV shakti drip. Hehe. Lots of energy humming through this nervous system these days, seemingly jump started by proximity to Igor.

      I am reading a great book right now, a biography of Paramhansa Yoganada by one of his life long students, Swami Kriyananda. What is most revealing in this reading is perhaps the chapter where he itemizes the “salient characteristics’ of his teacher. The intimate portrayal of this guru, from time spent living with him, reminds me very much of my own experience of sharing a house with Igor. In a nutshell, when you live with a person there is a chance to see how profoundly embodied –or not–a fully realized being truly is

      I have to laugh. There is probably my own book one day, with my descriptions of Igor at breakfast, lunch and dinners. 🙂

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  8. Lisa Kathleen

    Hi Lori and ditto here about what happens post-awakening. Seems that all kinds of variations on the theme show up and all point to just keep on… Nice to see your blog up and running again. Lisa.

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  9. George Green

    Hey there Lori, I was so pleasantly suprised to see you returning to your blog here, and even more so with this your subsequent post. For me, it’s perfect timing as I am also venturing deeper in inner inquiry and inner commitments/re+commitments to sitting with what I discover there.

    There is no such real thing as redundant when it comes to claiming and embodying our greater awakened state. Period.

    Thanks again for you return and whatever you are bringing forward into our now.

    Warm Regards,

    Geo

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