From the front lines of enlightenment, this reporter is experiencing artillery fire in the form of naysayers and skeptics, along with curious questions and well wishes. Telling my story so far is a bit like being a stand-up comedy act, where half the crowd is laughing with me and the other half, laughing at me. From the not-Lori that is here, I too am laughing with me and at me.
So now for my disarming disclaimer: I know nothing. I am simply reporting the unfolding of my awakening experience, not purporting to proclaim an ultimate destination. In fact I’ve never known less in my life. To say I know nothing and everything might be the more apt line. Because from the awake place there is a deep appreciation for paradox, an odd ability to embrace duality in a new way. The skeptics then are as welcome as the believers of my words in a way the Lori personality would not have been copacetic with. There is no “me” here that needs to convince nor is there a me here that takes offence when met by criticism.
So, back to I-Know-Nothing, which I am considering as my new spiritual name (with Yaba-Daba-Do a close second contender). Even as I am aware that I know nothing, I have come up with some disoveries about the limits of language.
One finding is that even though Truth can piggy back on words, it’s like a camel trying to carry the sun on its back. The brilliant inferno of Truth does not convey well on the mere cargo beast that words are meant to be. Historically, language developed for barter, trade, treaties and survival. It was never constructed as a delivery system for enlightenment. In this way, some of my words have moved readers to tears and some to anger and others to indifference. All this from mere words, limping along in an effort to convey the magnitude of Truth.
Some of the most ardent feedback to my words has come from self-proclaimed already-awakened ones, some of whom have lobbed “you don’t have a clue” material at me, along with gloomy forecasts like “just wait until you come down from this spiritual high, sucker.” Which of course, makes me laugh, because I’m not attached to experiencing highs or lows, I am simply here.
There seem to be a few folk who tell me they woke up, had a beautiful flight, and crash-landed. If that happens here, the crash back to mind and identification, I will report it. I promise. Or others who foretell I will experience the “ordeal” of post enlightenment integration. But so far, almost seven weeks later, I remain vast and still, with intermittent periods of delight. I will let you know when and how that changes.
So here’s a proposition. Don’t believe anything I tell you. Instead, in the spirit of play, I double dare you to find out the Truth for yourself. After all, what do you have to lose but your mind?
As Osho wrote, “Knowing means you open your eyes and you see. Knowledge means somebody else has opened his eyes and he has seen and he talks about it, and you simply go on gathering information. Knowing is possible only if your eyes are healed, then it is authentically your experience.”
So I invite you to have your own authentic experience. The next time you find yourself in an argument, ask yourself: What part of me is arguing back? Or the next time someone agrees with your view, and you feel good about that collusion, ask yourself: Who is happy here? Deep inquiry into that one persistant mind story of “If you are not for me, you are against me” can perhaps lead you from knowledge to knowing, from reading about my awakening to having your own.
Let me know what you find? Awareness is Here and Curious.
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