Why We are Not Ready for the Full Bodied Truth of Awakening (and Crucify Those Who Tell It)


The Myth: Awakening is a shift of perception, a mental-emotional acrobatic that leaves one refreshingly peaceful and delightfully uninvested in personal identity, but that has no impact whatsoever on the physical body.

The Truth: Awakening is a radical of shift of identity that leaves one refreshingly peaceful and delightfully uninvested in personal identity, but that has profound impact on the body (and ultimately requires collaboration of the body).


A spirited controversy erupted this week over spiritual teacher Igor Kufayev’s commentary on his Facebook page (then reposted by Rick Archer at Buddha at the Gas Pump’s FB Page) about neo-advaita teacher Adyashanti’s most recent bout of a chronic illness that apparently emerged in the years after his awakening. In a nutshell, Igor Kufayev suggested that Adyashanti’s recent relapse of Bell’s Palsy was a part of a larger picture–that of the toll of post-awakening energies on the body.

Wrote Kufayev: “What it brings is a sober reminder of how little we know and even less understand about the actuality of the process (of awakening) which demands realignment of all bodily systems to function in a totally different set of circumstances often unleashed by major impact of awakening.”

Folks were quick to defend Adya’s illness, to declare that it had nothing to do with the process of self-realization, and to accuse Igor Kufayev of being an opportunist in his decision to comment publicly about the state of another teacher.

But as someone who has experienced a profound awakening three years ago, I can say there are physical repercussions, side-effects both challenging and very often baffling. I have battled with unholy levels of fatigue; insomnia; a vibrating body that sometimes feels like a locomotive; heart palpitations (with no known medical cause); a complete inability to sustain vigorous exercise without near collapse (and I was a lifelong exercise fiend); migraine headaches (I’d suffered one only lifelong, during pregnancy years ago) and perhaps most challenging in the context of my marriage, the loss of sexual desire and a spontaneous move toward celibacy. Oh, and did I mention the rare and little understood auto-immune disease?


Part of the problem with coming out and declaring that an abiding awakening to true nature (which Adyashanti terms enlightenment) is a process that also involves the body, is that in contemporary non-duality circles, there is s strong preference to jump to the Absolute at the expense of the finite. But to dismiss the body as “unreal” is to leap frog over the very obvious fact that this enlightenment happens not when we are dead (that we know) but while we are alive. And being alive means –not incidentally– having a body.

In the words of Kufayev in response to criticisms of his post about Adyashanti’s health, “It’s not …. even about Adya’s illness, but about the sickness so prevalent in western spirituality which denies the body as the carrier of the soul.”


Igor Kufayev is not a voice in the wilderness, exactly.

There are other teachers telling the truth, including Adyashanti himself who devotes a whole chapter in his book The End of Your World to the topic of the impact of Awakening on the body. And by no means does Adya deny the body, despite the prevalence of that kind of denial by many teachers of  contemporary non-duality.

In fact, Adya has said, “Ultimately, everything’s a dream, and yet you still have to deal with the body. It’s still there. You can call it “a dream,” but it’s still going to hurt if you bump your head.”

Yes. It will hurt when you bump your head, and when you bump into awakening, especially if the body is not particularly purified or ready.

This quote by teacher Anadi speaks directly to the impact of awakening on all levels. “We need to understand that enlightenment is not only a shift in perception and consciousness. It is an existential metamorphosis at all levels, which radically transforms the vibration of our energy system and the delicate balance of various elements in our brain and the subtle bodies. A sudden and complete enlightenment that skips all the intermediate steps would undoubtedly lead to a mental and emotional collapse, if not the physical death. Such a radical transformation as enlightenment requires adequate time for the body and mind to adapt to the dramatic change of energy and identity.”

sheila-wolk-metamorphosis_i-G-19-1914-CJK9D00ZThe keyword here (and one I have heard teacher Igor Kufayev use as well) is metamorphosis. For those who are fuzzy about the meaning of this word from the online Miriam Webster:

a :  change of physical form, structure, or substance especially by supernatural means.

b :  a striking alteration in appearance, character, or circumstances.

What strikes me most about metamorphosis, is that it’s not subtle. It’s not like, “Oh, I think I’m no longer a caterpillar.” Rather, it’s more like: “Holy crap, I’ve got wings.”

Yet in the morphing toward winghood, there is this small bit of concern called the body. And rather than the body being collateral damage in this process of awakening, I will suggest it is instrumental. 

By that I mean, the body is the vector for enlightenment. It is literally the delivery mechanism by which we experience the vastness of who we really are—at least while alive.

And if you look at cases like that of brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor, who experienced what she described as enlightenment via a catastrophic stroke that shut down much of her left brain, then you have to admit this: the brain is a key player in how we perceive reality–and who we are.

If you have not had the chance to read “My Stroke of Insight” then at the very least watch this woman’s riveting Ted Talk in which she declares:

Nirvana. I found Nirvana. And I remember thinking, there’s no way I would ever be able to squeeze the enormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body.

But then I realized, “But I’m still alive! I’m still alive, and I have found Nirvana. And if I have found Nirvana and I’m still alive, then everyone who is alive can find Nirvana.” And I pictured a world filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate, loving people who knew that they could come to this space at any time. And that they could purposely choose to step to the right of their left hemispheres and find this peace. And then I realized what a tremendous gift this experience could be, what a stroke of insight this could be to how we live our lives.

What Jill Bolte Taylor is declaring is nothing short of revolutionary. A brain scientist has a stroke that knocks out her left brain and forces the right brain to dominate. As a result she writes a book where she basically says that what stands in the way of being a loving compassionate being who realizes itself as Oneness is simply our left brain.


Despite all the hoopla around defending Adyashanti’s right to his illness (sometimes I think we want our enlightened teachers to be mortally flawed just like us), it’s important to note that this illness happened to him (along with a little known stroke) AFTER his awakening.

And despite assertions by many that the body is irrelevant in awakening and post awakening, it might heed us all to listen to Adya’s own words on this topic in a letter to his Sangha Feb 2008:

 I want to share with you some recent developments since I contracted Bell’s Palsy in early November. There are various causes of Bell’s Palsy, but mine seems to have been caused by a particular virus that causes not only facial paralysis but also nerve pain and fatigue. While I am happy to report that much of the paralysis and pain has healed, the underlying virus is still very active and gets activated by the energy that flows through me when I teach.”

I’ve placed in bold that last line because it’s clear here that Adya is admitting that this illness is exacerbated by something he vaguely terms “energy that flows.” Of course a tantric master might call it kundalini or shakti, but in Adyashanti’s “Zen” roots, and in most non-duality circles, there is no such beast. Why? Because kundalini is energy and it moves in this “illusory” thing called a body, this carrier for our soul that is vulnerable to illness and breakdown.


Why are we not ready to hear this? And why do we shut down, diminish, hide or crucify those who tell us the body is not incidental in awakening; that the body is the gateway itself?

Even a Taylor’s TED Talk is benignly billed as “Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions — motion, speech, self-awareness — shut down one by one.”

Yet her talk could easily and more accurately have been promoted as: “Brain scientist reveals the doorway to enlightenment is a matter of brain function.”

I suggest we are afraid to admit our bodies are key players in awakening because that suggests we might care for these vessels better. That we might tend the garden in which awareness of true nature might sprout. That we are stewards of the vehicle of our own enlightenment.

But to admit that is like admitting we might care for this planet as well, this homestead in our solar system that sustains life. It’s easier all round to dismiss the body and the planet as illusion, to imagine an ultimate reality that negates this proximate messy one called the earth and my body.

And let’s not even discuss the chance that an awakening that does not become ‘abiding” is perhaps an aborted one? What if, just as a fetus will not continue to grow in a hostile womb, the light of our own awareness can be choked off by the neglect of the very body it seeks to flourish in?

And what if too, there are casualties of awakening, where the fire of newly liberated awareness burns down the tinder-dry house of a body that is far from ready to withstand the heat of this metamorphic transformation? As teacher Kufayev often notes, many famous sages have died early, and of wasting diseases like cancer.

These are uncomfortable heresies in the absolutist world of modern non-duality. This is why we shoot the messengers rather than engage the message. The message is scary and formidable. But the messenger is an easy target.


It’s been a physically strenuous last three years. I don’t write about it because it’s not exactly a popular platform: Step right up, get your peace, joy, vastness, and oh, enlightenment sicknesses.

But I also know this body is re-wiring. This vehicle is fine-tuning. And when it’s not keeping up with the enlightenment program, it’s often because I am treating my physical being like bystander, or idle witness when it’s the fiber optic through which God surges.

And so, I’m learning. I’m learning to rest more. To meditate regularly (instant tune up). To eat better. To tenderly care for this precious body, this superconductor for grace.

Awareness is here, resting in bed, sipping Yogi tea.



 PS: I’m teaching an invitation only 4 week online course in Feb 2017, on the theme of Awakened Magic: An enlightened approach to radiance, love, power and purpose. If you want an invite, click HERE. 

252 thoughts on “Why We are Not Ready for the Full Bodied Truth of Awakening (and Crucify Those Who Tell It)

  1. Ken Etter

    Excellent article, insight and reflection. I smile when I myself get comments or responses similar to those of Kufayev, as if to have or become awakened is to somehow never again experience the human result or to still have the human response(s) is “proof” one is not really “awakened”, more as evidence of the lack or limits in understanding of what awakening actually is in the source and a lack of the awakening experience itself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. cua go cong nghiep

    I absolutely agree that we all need to own that the body gets bumped and it hurts and what are the hurts that might be directly related to waking up? If more of the awakening ones discuss this then the more we could learn about the tie-ins. Thank you for this

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Daniel Blackmoor

    It’s possible that by believing in the physical attributes of enlightenment we create them to be true. For those who don’t ascribe to physicality as being real, could they be free of that “reality”?

    I always felt that great spiritual leaders who get sick and eventually die of those “illnesses” are in fact simply transitioning from the need to maintain the illusion of a separate physical self. Those of us still engaged in the illusion translate this letting go of the physical self as specific diseases that our illusional ‘minds’ can label and understand. There is no death in non-duality, simply the absence of the illusion of being separate.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. SP

    You talk about not being able to do vigorous exercise . In last 2 years as little exercise as walking 20-25 steps tired me completely. And this coming from a very active person. Though diagnosed with CFS/Lyme ( Lyme is cleared now but the fatigue,burning, pain, extreme heaviness, inability to read write or watch anything continues at full swing), I have come to believe that this is indeed an awakening that I am going through. The loud vibrations at night taking over my body strange sensations and major kriyas/mudras/psychic power for a few days/ becoming a medium for a week and such strange things that happened a year ago ( though I was not the least healed, in physical terms, after it ), cannot he explained in any other way. The hardest thing I am having to deal with is ‘letting go’ and ‘not resisting’ because the brain doesn’t know how to – meditation, acceptance , resting and trying to quiten the mind as well as getting closer to spiritual guidance is all I can do.
    It is an excruciatingly painful journey and I am still surprised that not many ancient text have spoken about the level of suffering one has to go through. Even Gopi Krishna’s suffering seems tame compared to what I continue to go through. I would have loved if more realise people spoke openly on the suffering an awakening can cause. Bring Indian, I have searched every possible text to find answers but finally accepted that eventually answer will come from within and no two people have the same experience.

    Ps: haven’t read through what I wrote so the above might be typo laden 😊


  5. Merna wells

    Hi Lori

    Thankyou for your insightful article. As a 25 year practioner of yoga who had an enlightenment experience before i sttarted yoga but linked intimately to physical experience i agree with you 100%. In yoga we recognice that the body and particuarly the nervous system has to be prepared to support the energy flows of enlightenment. Otherwise it might be a crucifiction type experience. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      I meant to say as well that even post awakening there are more and more reasons to continue to refine the nutrition and food that the body receives. For many, post awakening, entire food paradigms dramatically shift vegans become meat eaters by necessity, for instance. The human body is calibrated to be well, but our IDEAS of what it should receive as exercise, or food, are what get in the way of this wellness. Thanks again for your comment.


  6. David Lewis

    …to add to my earlier post…

    I am very confused. According to what I’ve read, I was well on my way to awakening. The minor stroke left me me numb in my heart. Maybe i was paying way too much attention to my movies (visual thoughts). Where i saw movies before now I see only black, eyes opened or closed. I’m hanging on and hoping.
    Thanks for listening.


  7. David Lewis

    I knew I was awakening then had a minor stroke. Speech and arm problems. My movies (thought etc) have vanished. But I feel numb in my thoughts now. Not happy no love in my heart anymore. Nothing.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. donsalmon

      Thanks to this silly spam, I discovered this post. Just commented over on the Facebook page about Adya and will repeat my suggestion here:

      I think folks here might really enjoy Sri Aurobindo’s “The Supramental Manifestation on Earth.” (available free online)

      In one chapter he speaks of how, with a radical transformation of the body, it may occur one day (centuries from now) that conscious energies replace the organs of the body. It may superficially sound like some weird “trans humanism,” but if you also glance at The Mother’s ‘Agenda” you’ll find Mirra Alfassa having spent the last 15 or so years of her life diving in the “cellular consciousness” to fully awaken the cells of the body.


  9. kathyaadams

    Please DO talk more about the body. I found you because of my own body issues arising after my awakening experiences and months of bliss. There is not enough info out there on what REALLY happens after…and how to integrate the body into the experience. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Kathy Adams

    Please DO talk more about the body. I found you because of my own body issues arising after my awakening experiences and months of bliss. There is not enough info out there on what REALLY happens after…and how to integrate the body into the experience. Thanks!


  11. Murugesh

    Wonderful post. Now I am wondering why Eckhart tolle has never talked about it, he had immediate awakening at the age of 30. When he was asked about kundalini, he said he had never experienced anything like that. Is it different for some people?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Conrado Salas Cano

    Just a correction or clarification. I said in my February 4 2017 comment that “Ascension is the Way”. I have lost faith in my own personal physical Ascension. I started to lose faith when I saw the first unstoppable wrinkles on my forehead! While there are signs of an incipient global mass Ascension, if such process is successful it may not reach the stage of actual transmutation of humans into light bodies en masse until, say, the 22nd century, by which time I will probably be dead.
    Until now physical Ascension has been granted on Earth only to some outstandingly saintly individuals, who have typically lived an exemplary life of renunciation, like Jesus or the ascetic monks in Tibet. Somehow I am skeptical that a mass Ascension will catch you easily and effortlessly while watching a David Wilcock lecture, sporting a Kool-Aid belly, and eating popcorn.
    However, I still think that helping facilitate a global planetary Ascension, even if we do not live to enjoy its fruits ourselves, might be preferable to sitting down and allowing the transhumanist microchipping agenda to be implemented.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Allison Brunner, LCSW

      I hear you 😊. If you have the time to watch, you may find some of Sandra Walter’s talks on YouTube interesting. She sees a timeline split occurring this year, so watch her most recent ones in which she’s being interviewed. Her web site has the material as well.

      I’ve had to see a healer who specializes in assisting awakened bodies adjust to the metamorphosis. She does distance work if you’re interested. I can finally sleep again and no longer feel constant heat. My nervous system is adjusting, and my urinary tract no longer swells and burns. Weight gain is far slower now. I’m no longer overweight.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Conrado Salas Cano

    Very good article, Lori.
    I haven’t printed it because the P.S. ends with a “click HERE” that obviously are not words you could find in one of those self-contained print-only high-brow articles of the intelligentsia whose glitz you and I probably would like to emulate. But I have printed another of your articles, whose reading does appear to make sense in a print-only format.
    I had my spiritual awakening in 1996. Over the past ten years, I’ve not only taken care of my body; I’ve been like you an exercise fiend. But now I am 41, and my body just cannot be pushed the way it used to be pushed, or maybe that’s my perception of it? Well, the wrinkles on my forehead are clearly not only a perception of mine.
    I will blurt here something that I am afraid to blurt in my facebook page or even in my webpage. It makes no sense to me to progress in one’s spiritual awakening and senesce. A real spiritual master can indefinitely stem his/her body’s biological ageing and even reverse it.
    But this world is not prepared for eternal youth, just as it is not prepared for what is generally called “free energy” (as from the quantum zero point field). If channeler Barbara Marciniak was right in her beautiful book “Bringers of the Dawn”, we are probably the ones called to change that, but the task can seem and even feel like a herculean battle against the grain. The theory is one thing. Practice is an altogether different thing, and vital energy becomes so precious, especially as one, well, ages.
    It makes no sense spiritually to compete in demanding sports for hundreds of years at the peak level of one’s youth, and biologically the body and joints are not designed to withstand that.
    Biomedical or nanotechnological fixes to the ageing problem might not necessarily be bad, but are at root not spiritual, I suspect. Ascension is about a Consciousness-driven mastery and eventual transformation of the body. Ascension is the Way.
    The next step in our post-awakening metamorphosis must clearly be the transformation into the Light body, and the world’s transformation into a place with no competition as it is traditionally understood, the sort of competition that is reflected in competitive sports.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. donsalmon

      Conrado: I’m not sure I completely followed your interesting comment, but you might be interested in Sri Aurobindo’s “The Supramental Manifestation on Earth” (available for free online) in which he talks about the transformation of the physical body post-awakening.


    2. Allison Brunner, LCSW

      I’m also seeing and experiencing that the higher-frequency energies and light filling the planet are difficult for many of our bodies to adjust to. I know we’ll adjust. But phew! As the Schumann resonance increases, I sure feel tired!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. donsalmon

    Pretty amazing, over 200 comments!

    I see there was one mention of Sri Aurobindo’s work. For those who are interested, possibly one of the “wildest” and most detailed descriptions of the “after enlightenment” process in the body is contained in “The Mother’s Agenda” (available in its entirety here: http://mother-agenda.narod.ru)

    The Mother was “recognized” by several Zen masters in Japan in the early 1920s as fully enlightened. Yet her sadhana continued to progress over the next half century. She “retired” into almost total seclusion from 1958 until her “death” in 1973 at the age of 95. She apparently almost – or actually – died many times in those 15 years. The record of her “yoga of the cells” is among the most extraordinary I’ve ever seen.

    I’d love to hear about your response to it – http://www.remember-to-breathe.org


  15. sarvaga

    Strange that this post was written as a polemic against “neo-advaitan” teachers, while also — with the other breath — saying these supposedly neo-advaita teachers like Adyashanti (who would never consider himself such) express the truth of embodiment. Adya is always cautioning against the focus on emptiness, transcendence, and getting stuck as a disembodied witness. The essential core of Adya’s teaching is about full embodiment, redemptive love in the world (but that is not *of* the world), and he is always addressing the integration of energy, body, mind, spirit, usually with anecdotes from his own experience. You point this out while also implying that he’s doing the opposite. You casually talk about his “Zen” roots (I thought he was a “neo-advaitan”?) and how this leads him to dismiss energies like Kundalini as “illusory.” This isn’t Adya’s view at all — he had an explosive surge of Kundalini that led to his first powerful awakening. Adya does not say these energies are illusory, nor does he say the world is illusory, except from a limited point of view. What he advises is not focusing on these energies, not trying to manipulate these energies, as though they were ends or means in themselves to awakening, but to allow them to unfold in the light of awareness — to let them do their own business without the subtle motives of the mind/ego getting in the way.

    Who are you arguing against? People who defended Adya’s illness as “having nothing to do with awakening”? Who are these anonymous people? This article is full of crude generalizations. What might have been a balanced article talking about the full-bodied truth of awakening had an overtone of criticizing some mysterious, unidentified “neoadvaita” group that you falsely lump the Zen-rooted Adya into (while also proving he says the very opposite of what you’re criticizing).


  16. Milo

    Thanks for reporting this Lori. 25 years ago this body writing these words also went thru a profound shift in knowing – this without any knowledge of teachings or teachers or any spiritual preparation etc. This was a drug induced awakening. Such sudden profound changes re-animate the form in ways the form is not yet like, if the form is not able to conduct the depth of revelation, and can create a carthartic disturbance or dis-ease. In my case a condition labelled ME arose. Time then allows this knowing to come into form as the forms become like what they are first from in an embodiment process which will consume the person’s orientation. This is my experience to date and awakening was the first significant step in a journey which is becoming more and more about coming into the heart. All the best.


    1. Christof

      Can you please elaborate on your drug induced awakening; Which drug was used/ If it was a powerful psychadelic, then did you employ techniques to protect yourself? Are you aware of possible dangers of ‘posession’?


      1. Milo

        Hi Christof. I am aware that until we are source we are possessed. So we are all possessed until we are not. Source being infinite openness. I was never into drugs other than for some recreation so I have no real contribution to make regards spiritual application. I would recommend loving truth to the exclusion of all else for protection against less holy psychic forces. What we love we bring forth. Love miles.


  17. Mikael

    Perhaps a keyword in many psychospiritual processes and transitions is ‘organic’. Organic growth. Organic undoing. Organic unravelling Organic nonduality. Organic purification. Organic…
    These days, especially in western cultures, it is so often about getting things quick and carefree, seldom using prajna/wisdom/discrimination as what the overall consequenses might be. Physical and mental strains and dis-eases from not understanding the laws of Nature and the unfoldment of balance and harmony. And this goes as much for spiritual development as for agriculture.
    Perhaps some of us may benefit from looking deeper into the bookshelves where the dusty never-bestesellers hide out and listen to teachers that never had any big followings and pick up their messages of enlightenment. That for the great majority it will not happen in this life, nor is it meant to do. And that is good news. We can humbly work on the totality of our physical, psychological, emotional, mental and transpersonal maturation and purification.
    Softly humbling ourselves as we recognize our shadows. Sharing generously about our paths and most of all; gently letting our Spirit telling us what is our next organic step. Instead of pushing, shortcutting and ‘kicking in the doors to heaven’. I do not suggest we should not aspire at all to awakening(s) but perhaps the ‘how’ is what may make big differences. The humble preparations may seem poor, but what if we in fact are here to actually fully savor the lessons as dreamfigures and not at all are benefitted by pre-mature ‘enlightenment’ or awakenings? I realize it is not either/or, but I just want to give voice to a more gentler energy that some teachers here and there in history and in this very day have suggested is a more wholesome to approach this Quest of humanity. And paradoxically, they suggest, even the fastest. As many ‘enlightened nondual teachers is said to still need further incarnations to catch up on shadow sides and personality traits that were neglected, no matter how deep insights into the emptiness of consciousness.
    It may be so.


  18. Christof

    I sincerely question these so called ‘enlightened’ individuals. If they were truly ‘enlightened’, then they would realise the dangers of remaining continuosly ‘open’ in the spirit worlds where attacks from negative entities are are real possability.
    Indeed without proper protection including food, rest, activity, the body breaks down. That is the case anyway whether you’re spiritual or not. To seek enlightenment, it is not necessary to follow a detrimental path, it is possible to seek other paths that will awaken you and be safe. However, it is unwise to completely focus on enlightenment at the cost of our Earthly bonds such as our body: The body is part of our enlightenment, knowing and respecting it’s importance.

    The pursuit of Enlightenment is a good cause when done safely and wisely, but these so called awoken individuals have overstepped their ‘allowance’, and moved towards the death realms. That is unwise, and surely was never an aim or goal.


      1. Christof

        These sorts of things are well known in Amazonian Curandismo. When you become so sensitised to Spiritual realms, you are wide open to possible attack. I have drunk Ayahuasca in Peru, and this was quite obvious under the influence, etc.


  19. Deb

    Great article, thank you for your sharing. This so rings true for me. I also feel fear of illness and treatment is a reason too why people believe that enlightened people don’t get sick! It is also the basis of much of the metaphysical healing industry..eg. if I stop hating my mum I won’t get cancer scenario. I feel we shd all do the work to learn to love ans forgive but not out of fear of making the body sick


    1. Christof

      These enlightened people have followed a bad path if it has led to their illness, a person can become enlightened safely with entheogens which offer far stronger access to spirit realms/realisations, without the need of long winded sedentary meditation which cannot be good for the maintainance of a healthy body.
      The body is extremely important as it is the vessel of the Spirit. I often see ‘enlightened’ people, they do not strike me as very healthy, or healthful people, anyhow, so no wonder they get sick/


  20. Allison Brunner, LCSW

    Thank you for this post. It’s validating. I had a couple of kundalini awakenings (maybe 3) last year. They were followed by some improvements in health (emotional and physical) and absolute love, joy, and bliss. Then came the Dark Night of the Soul, fear, deep depression, insomnia, fatigue. My endocrine system went wacky and so did my insulin levels. Despite spending the entire summer outdoors, at the beach, my vitamin D levels are way low. I’m sitting here contemplating taking an antidepressant to help ease the physical pain of the depression (chest and stomach aches). Trying very hard to surrender but still trying to function and work. I feel like a used dish rag. I only wish someone could assure me that joy is on the other side and this won’t last forever. Another few weeks I can handle. Much longer, and I…I don’t know. I’m so grateful I have a shaman, an energy healer, and now I’ve found a transpersonal psychologist trained in a Jungian approach as well. For it was Carl Jung who believed in the Dark Night of the Soul and did not pathologize it, thank goodness.


    1. Charles

      “I’m sitting here contemplating taking an antidepressant to help ease the physical pain of the depression (chest and stomach aches). Trying very hard to surrender but still trying to function and work. I feel like a used dish rag. I only wish someone could assure me that joy is on the other side and this won’t last forever. Another few weeks I can handle. Much longer, and I…I don’t know.”

      Yep, this right here. This is exactly what I’m going through, too. It’s strange because a lot of things I used to take seriously and have anxiety over are now nonexistent and completely de-energized, whereas the “larger” ones have become more potent. You’re basically staring down the emptiness of your own self; you’re seeing through it. You’re on the expressway to awakening and there’s no real turning around.

      All the definitions I’ve laid out for myself can no longer stand stable. Things the little me demands to hold onto are dissolving and its bitching and fighting to its last breath. I finally see what “losing your whole world” means: it has nothing in store for “you”, nor your plans or expectations or anything. In the end, it’s not really about “you” and it never actually was.

      I’ve done completely asinine things for the past two or so months. Constant anxiety, fluctuating mood swings, resentment, fear of wasted time, especially during the night. It took all my worst nightmares and placed them into my cross-hair, affording me no chance to look away, not for a second. It’s hard to enjoy talking to my friends or enjoy personal stuff because this thing is constantly agonizing. I even whacked someone with a book (they weren’t hurt) but that’s another story.

      Basically, it’s a do-or-die situation. Surrender or suffer. If you wanna talk about it to me, please feel free!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Allison Brunner, LCSW

        Thanks for writing a response. It gives me courage when I can relate to others going through this.

        I wonder if your depression ever feels very physical, to the point that it’s tough to do anything, even to brush your teeth or make tea. I get incredibly nauseated. It occurred to me last night (intuitively) that my power chakra is collapsed. I felt a little victim-y. I prayed. And then I got the feeling I needed to start punching pillows. And I screamed. And a lot of anger (borderline rage) arose, very dark stuff.

        I realized how polar opposite this is to the daily compassion, empathy, and love I feel. I’m so empathetic I sometimes need to cry for a while. I feel a buildup of sadness that isn’t mine even though I work hard on empathic boundaries.

        So experiencing such fury and rage was fascinating. I did the punching and screaming for 30 minutes, and the nausea left. I put on dance music (the stuff I can still stomach that is higher vibrationally) and cleaned my bedroom, did dishes, and finally took a shower.

        I feel depression again today, but it’s a little less severe. I’m going to keep working with this repressed rage. It feels empowering and somehow like it expands me. I’m used to spirituality looking so “love-and-light.”

        With kundalini awakenings, I wonder if this shadow stuff just needs to be released. I wonder if this was a layer that has kept me feeling so disempowered and sick. It even feels past-life-related.

        My heart goes out to you. You also sound certain and filled with faith. You sound tough, like you’ve really GOT this. Thank you for that, because it reminds me that it’s true of all of this. We wouldn’t be facing this if our souls thought we couldn’t. We were made for this. 🙂 Even though my human self screams and wants it to end.


      2. Lori Ann Lothian

        yes, just release it in these creative and healthy ways–anger is a step up from depression, always. And remember, these are not you, these feeling states. They are like storms moving across the cloudless backdrop of your true self.


      3. Allison Brunner, LCSW

        By the way, it sounds like it has been really tough for you. How do you cope?

        I’ve absolutely figured out how to cope with clinical depression. I’m even a therapist. But this is worse. I have no experience in how to navigate this. Sometimes meditating and identifying with the I AM is helpful, but I’ve read that meditation isn’t great for a kundalini crisis. I hike, and that helps too, but I live in a big city. It takes a bit to get to nature.


      4. Lori Ann Lothian

        hello there charles! Yes, there is no turning back and yes, your enlightenment has nothing to do with you. That said, there is a sweetness and a pervasive sense of being loved-up by the Self, as the Self. That emerges over time, usually after the free fall of dis-indentification. Do not despair. It will not always be this nilhistic.


    2. Lori Ann Lothian

      At a very practical level, get magnesium into your body. The electrical activity that Kundalini stimulates in the nervous system is depleting of magnesium levels. I had a huge shift when i began taking magnesium supplements–and for the record, our soils are magnesium depleted too, so don’t count on food sources as your sole source of magnesium.

      This phase of body adjustment won’t last forever…having a guide (jungian analyst) is a great idea.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Allison Brunner, LCSW

        Thank you SO MUCH for responding! Hearing from you and Charles has been a blessing. Funny how my intuition led me to take magnesium (even though I had no idea this could help). So I’ve been taking it for a week. Taking Vitamin D too. And you’re right: when I connect with the “I AM” I feel my true self, my essence, and see that the emotions I’m releasing are not me. They’re just energy.

        Hearing from you and Charles has boosted my mood a little. I don’t feel so alone. Much love to both of you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Charles

        “I wonder if your depression ever feels very physical, to the point that it’s tough to do anything, even to brush your teeth or make tea. I get incredibly nauseated.”

        The hardest part so far has been the physicality of the energy. My stomach wretches, I sometimes want to vomit, headaches, etc. I’ve made a routine of meditating and inquiry, which helps tremendously.

        “My heart goes out to you. You also sound certain and filled with faith. You sound tough, like you’ve really GOT this. Thank you for that, because it reminds me that it’s true of all of this. We wouldn’t be facing this if our souls thought we couldn’t. We were made for this.:) Even though my human self screams and wants it to end.”

        Lol, thanks, but I’m far from certain or getting anything. I see very clearly through a lot of ailments, then with others, I don’t see very much at all. It’s an extremely scary time for me right now, and yet I’m experiencing what could be an extremely transformative experience. Meditation is extremely helpful.

        “And remember, these are not you, these feeling states. They are like storms moving across the cloudless backdrop of your true self.”

        Very helpful line.


    3. Christof

      Do you ever wonder if your awakening was an access to a certain truth that was you duty to act upon? Perhaps it is not acting on the powerful realisations that cause the inbalances that lead to illness? I personally believe that it is much easier to live in ignorance that be awakened, only to realise the complete mess of a world we live in, thanks to the efforts of the unawakened!


      1. Madalyn

        Hi Christof…I know exactly what you are talking about when you say~To act upon what a person has been Enlightened about, to share his/her joy, to spread awareness and love…. I have been on my soul journey for 3 years now & I would like to share my profile with you or anyone interested. I have tried to share my story but the media keeps on silencing me…


        Liked by 1 person

  21. Charles

    I’d like to share an experience.

    For the past two months, I’ve been experiencing an extreme, nearly unbearable bout of physical pain in my stomach. This started from a depression-induced breakdown and it’s been almost unbearable. Without going into the reasons why, it feels like my life is hopeless and meaningless and all the stuff I used to believe in was never true. It’s nice to see it from an observer’s point of view, but to actually experience your beliefs struggling to stay alive is something else entirely. It’s not what you sign up for.

    I read my first Eckhart Tolle book around 16-17 and I’m 24 now, and though there’s several mind-made problems that I no longer feed, I’ve been left with these easily identifiable, yet incredibly painful life stories. It should be obvious to just let go but it never presents itself, no matter how much meditation or inquiry I do (though meditation causes space to open, which is extraordinarily helpful). I’ve never experienced this kind of physical pain in my body before, and it’s going after things I never would’ve expected or even wanted. There are times when my ego is absolutely outraged and wants to go back to “normal” – well, too late for that, buddy!

    I started watching a bunch of Adyashanti videos last summer and these process have made more sense than ever. Eckhart’s books also seem clearer, like its a new book every time I read it. I’m learning so much about myself, how I function, what I value, etc. So it’s not like I want to give up. Isn’t it true that our greatest awakenings often happen during periods of intense suffering?

    It’s hard for me to enjoy stuff because of a particularly strange attitude: some things I’ll do out of enjoyment, while others I do because I fear the consequences of not doing it, like I’m being held hostage. Very strange.


    1. Allison Brunner, LCSW

      HI Charles,

      This post answers the questions I asked you about how you cope.

      And you’re only 24 and read Eckhart Tolle at age 16 or 17! You young old soul! I’m so happy knowing this is happening to younger people (I’m 41, almost 42). You will create great change on the planet, the change my heart aches for and even remembers once existed. Thank you for your willingness to go through this fire, for your courage.

      Have you tried any energy work or acupuncture (which apparently helped Adyashanti when he had his physical symptoms after awakening). Energy work from a woman who vibrates pretty high is helping me…and working with a shaman who also does energy work.

      It sounds like your attitude around doing things out of enjoyment vs fear of consequences is a healing process, a part of you breaking free from old constructs. Not that I’m an expert of you. It’s just what I sense. I’m rooting for you.

      Honored to be on a similar journey and we’ll see each other at the “shifting” line. 🙂


      1. Charles

        Hello, thanks for the reply!

        I haven’t thought of doing acupuncture before. Seems interesting.

        Also, the “doing things out of enjoyment vs fear of consequences” is a very, very difficult experience for me. A lot of the stuff I purely loved doing when I was younger just makes me bored or frustrated now, and then I have a lot of judging thoughts over it. Not following what I’m “supposed” to love leaves me in a place of despair and hopelessness, which isn’t a place I like being, but the more I drop away, the better I feel. It’s scary to go to that place.

        Right now, it’s like a constant, non-stop pain, mostly focused on two major things: the sense of wasted time and an incident about a month ago where I hit my dad with a book. The latter is more painful: it wasn’t particularly bad in that he wasn’t hurt, but I have a very harsh, judging voice. All of my ailments tell me I can’t be happy and I’m not allowed to be free, so much to the point I can’t talk to my friends or do anything creative without feeling stress or sadness. A lot of things I wish I could get happy or excited about just won’t happen and I’ve fought this for years, but now I see I’m self-imposing it. This also combines with my former pain. It is undoubtedly the hardest time of my life. It’s hard to forgive myself. All I really want to do anymore is hate myself.


    2. Christof

      I think a person should avoid the path of awakening, unless they can follow it through in terms of making real changes with it’s teachings, for that is its real purpose: It is not something for a single person to experience, it is something to act upon, and that is a LOT of hard work, for we live in a very sleepy World.


      1. kai

        Hi Cristof,

        We can never know what it’s going to take until we step into the mud. There are surprises, all the time – good and bad, as far as the Ego is concerned. I find it very humbling, especially when i meet and accept my body as it is, contracted. But it is the truth, in ultimately we are in the truth business.

        The problem, and it is a problem (as someone mentions above) is that once you start you can;t really turn back. We are facing the need to accept more and more, and the body often gives it to us.


      2. Christof

        Yes Kai, good points.

        Just don’t let yourself forget that you’ve got a body that needs caring too, that kinda means have your Spiritual days, but have your physical days too, and get good food and rest and play too. 🙂


  22. Andre

    Very interesting.

    I’ve been experiencing ‘energy’ phenomena since my awakening/shift/whatever in 2012.

    Like you, I’ve been struck by bouts of extreme fatigue, insomnia, spontaneous celibacy (scary), and so forth. An arm or leg wanting to move in a particular way, etc. A lot of the usual stuff people report.

    The feeling of energy often occurs on only one side of the body or the other.

    A few months ago there was a lot of energy activity on the right side of my face. For the last couple weeks I’ve been experiencing it heavily on the left side of my face. The energy is active from morning until night.

    I had bad skin and cystic acne for the last 20+ years and the energy moving through my face appears to finally be correcting the problem.

    I can buy the hypothesis that these energies could cause a person to have a stroke or lose half their face or something similar. I’m not saying that’s what’s happening in Adya’s case because I truly don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

    On an intuitive level I’ve often been bothered by the one-size-fits-all ‘surrender’ and ‘let go’ advice Adya has given to people dealing with energy experiences.

    Kind of a terrifying article to read for me. I feel the energy flowing through the left side of my face as I’m typing this out. Hope I don’t stroke out! haha


    “No man drinks old wine and immediately desires to drink new wine. And new wine is not put into old wineskins, lest they burst; nor is old wine put into a new wineskin, lest it spoil it. An old patch is not sewn onto a new garment, because a tear would result.”


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Yes, well. There is a lot of controversy about this issue. Non-duality sticklers keep to the notion that awakened “consciousness” has nothing to do with the body. Which frankly, makes no sense to me. yes, you can say that the body is an obbject in consciousness. But I see the body as more of a superconductor for consciousness within space time. I’ll stick with that view for now.

      When I was hanging out still with Igor Kufayev, and my husband had a stroke (while Igor was living with us) Igor mentioned that he thought it might be a kundalini strike vs an ordinary stroke. That my husband recovered near 100 percent (and he was rendered without speak or movement for the first 24 hours) is a sign it seems of a kundalini kind of event. There is a patch of damaged brain, so this was a stroke. But doctors could find ZERO cause for it.

      My husband was in a state of wonder, almost childlike exuberance, afterward. It was not a personality change, as much as a shift away from serious into more of a enchantment with life.

      Thank you for writing such a detailed comment!


      1. Andre

        Glad to hear your husband is doing better.

        I can hear everyone’s eyes rolling every time I trot out a Jesus quote but there’s a line in the Gospel of Thomas where Jesus speaks on the relationship of spirit to the body:

        “If the flesh came into being because of spirit, it is a wonder. But if spirit came into being because of the body, it is a wonder of wonders. Indeed, I am amazed at how this great wealth has made its home in this poverty.”

        I really like that one.

        Thank you for allowing this space so I could share my views on the matter.


      2. Andre

        > Can you tell me where the Jesus quote comes from?

        It’s from the Thomas Lambdin translation of one of the Nag Hammadi texts.

        A lot of Christians I bump into don’t consider it ‘legitimate’ but to me the words stand on their own and speak for themselves.

        It’s quite short. You can find it here:



      3. Christof

        Lori, i think there may be several factors regarding these occurances.

        Yes, it could be Kundalini energy, but also due to the ‘use it or lose it’ philosophy, ie if we start to focus less on our bodies, they might start to disintergrate. We cannot ignore our bodies, for we are earth bound beings that need a body.

        Of all the times when some form of exercise is good, probably during phases of enlightenment is the most necessary time, if only to work the energy released safely, imo.

        The Chinese call the universal energy, chi, they are those who mastered how to manipulate it. Tai chi, chi kung, etc…


    2. Christof

      An awakening releases Energy. That energy must be used along with the new awareness, or it will cause problems for it is a powerful motivating energy. Otherwise strenuous exercise might be the order of the day in ‘taming the dragon’

      Ie, express it, or deal with it/


  23. David

    Hi Lori. I enjoyed reading this and your site.

    A few comments…

    Enlightenment isn’t really about the body at all. It’s where you stand in consciousness. So Simon (his real name) is still an ordinary guy with an ordinary body, with bells palsy. Enlightenment doesn’t bring any disease or illness. How can it? Enlightenment is the space in which everything resides.

    You can have enlightenment experiences, as I have, or better still a permanent shift as a result of going right through a bringing out from your subconscious an entire childhood stream (and usually a few past lives thrown in) as I did 30 years ago. Then allow 10 years for that to sink in and raising there’s more to do, then another 10-20 years working through the next lot of subconscious childhood etc holding, then…

    For me beginners compassion class is learning to love a child inside. No-one let’s go of who they think they are really without this, as the recent scandals in Buddhism clearly demonstrate.

    If what I say interests you, I’ve written more at realmindfulness.com, my website. No-one goes there much, but I would appreciate your feedback.

    Cheers David

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Hi David!

      I visited your blog/site and enjoyed it. Yes, I agree with most everything you write about the awakening journey on your site, based on your experience which is showing up here, as well. The vast spacious abiding always leads to a kind of dark night return…it must. For alchemical reasons, at the very least, and because we are in the space-time matrix of polarity. Simply said, what goes up, comes down. Does true nature go up or down. Of course not. But the perception of self as that, does ebb and flow, even even an abiding blast open kind of awakening.

      The body. Ah the body. I am not committed to seeing the body as a superconductor for grace. I like the image. But it is only a metaphor. The body can be also seen as the projection/reflection of soul in three d reality, and I suppose the halo’s around saints in art, are a clue. That their reflection bodily is quite a light show.

      Love your interest in my blog. It’s lovely to meet a fellow wanderer in the enlightenment forrest.


  24. oona mourier

    I just found your website and this is “The Best Consciousness Toy.” A piece I wrote.

    My encounter with the Trinfinity 8 technology was a life changing experience that opened a new gateway to my understanding of human beings.
    On October 2015, The Nobel Prize in physics was awarded to Takaaki Kajita and Arthur B. McDonald for their research on neutrinos. Neutrinos are one of the fundamental particles which make up the universe. These neutrinos, which make up 40% of all matter, create a vast matrix, or grid, on which the universe is built. Neutrinos come from the Sun, stars and are instruments of our consciousness field a programing agency, an influencing intelligence of consciousness that touches us.
    Neutrinos travel at 98 to 99% of the speed of light so, they follow the light. Billions of neutrinos pass through us every second and they interact with our DNA to evolve. The neutrinos are the software for the consciousness field, “The internet of consciousness” if you will.

    Currently, the Earth’s frequency is shifting, we are moving through higher frequencies. We are in an evolutionary state as human beings and the way in which the universe evolves is energetic in nature. It pushes individuals into a higher evolutionary vibrational pattern.
    7.83Hz, the frequency of “OM”, also happen to be mother Earth’s natural heartbeat rhythm, also known as the Shuman Resonance. For many years the resonance frequency has hovered at a steady 7.83Hz with only slight variations.
    In June 2014, there was a sudden spike in activity to around 8.5 Hz, and since then they have recorded days were the Schuman frequency accelerated to as high as 16.5Hz. The Shuman frequency is said to be “in tune” with the human brain’s alpha and theta states. This acceleration may be why we feel like time has sped up and events and changes in our lives are happening faster. These emerging resonances are correlated to the human brain activity. This shift means we are changing, the Earth is shifting her vibrational frequency and so are we… We are awakening.
    We have a balance in our bodies, in one hand, a toxic energetic load which is increasing and depleting the body’s capacity to find its own healing response (hence the increase of many health conditions), and on the other hand, we have an intelligent body informed by the neutrino flowing through us, that can rebalance its own resources and prevent a full body shut down or failure. The body has a multitudes of ways to raise the level of cellular vitality and knows multitudes of way to repair, to get information and regulates its own system. The body’s ultimate strategy for healing is to inject pure energy into the system out of the stressful situation.
    Stressful situations can be subtle such as exposure to EMF, Wi Fi, cellular phones, microwaves, contaminated water, unhealthy foods, GMO products, pollution, and other contaminants that the body does not recognize right away. These “stresses” are destroying our body’s ability to inform and regulate its own system. We are disrupting the information pathway in a way never seen before.
    Out of the stressful situations the body ultimate intelligence of healing is to inject pure energy in the system. Enough energy will correct the disharmony. This information is generated by fractals from a universe that is made out of energy, light, and information.

    The new trend in medicine is to give the body what it needs in order to heal itself and supports jits innate ability to evolve at a higher frequency. Pure energy and light are great medicine for new evolutionary time. Light and consciousness as a healing agents reorganize our bodies, organs, cells, atoms, and DNA, replacing what is worn out, out dated, and ready to be released, allowing for a higher frequency to be present in contact with the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual body. As the frequencies of our body rise increase, our light substance increases and we become a transmitter of light, a point of light within the greater light.
    The shift of this evolution is the raising of a higher frequency and the development of a form, a body that can hold higher levels of light and consciousness. In within that matrix…. Healing means aligning to this higher frequency. This infusion of higher energy will allow life to function on a more subtle spiritual level, and is part of the journey of consciousness into form that we are part of.

    Trinfinity 8 is the ultimate holistic tool for a high level wellness, and represents a quantum shift in bio-energetic technology. This unique software and hardware was developed by Kathy Forti after she received the information during a near death experience. Her experience brought her into contact with interdimensional beings whom introduced her to the concept of mathematics being the language of the universe, and the blueprint of our DNA.
    Trinfinity 8’s unique technology allows for streams of coded data to be transmitted through your computer’s USB port. This is the first time that we have had the ability to combine the power of mathematics, crystals, and computers together into one piece of technology. This technology is designed to increase awareness while restoring vitality. Thousands of mathematical healing codes, using a computer to communicate the information, to deliver rejuvenation programs based on mathematics, sacred geometry, fractal amplification, and ancient healing tones. This information is transmitted to a body’s cells through pure crystal rods.
    The mathematical codes significantly increase the electrical conductivity of human DNA and increased electrical activity is directly correlated to the ability of our DNA to repair itself.

    Quantum physicists have discovered that enlightenment is the change you attract when your thought pattern become fractal. A fractal pattern is a geometric shape that is split into billions of parts, with each part containing an exact replica of the whole. The science of fractals allow unified field for waves and people. It is called oneness.
    The Trinfinity 8 technology allows fractal fields to bond and become one with the rejuvenation formula within the program. This strengthens and amplifies the information coming through to the user with infinite multiplicity.
    Sacred geometry tones have been used to awaken a natural expansion of consciousness, and to activate and transform our DNA.

    So why is it so important to repair our DNA at this specific point of time? As previously mentioned, things like EMF’s, microwaves, toxins, medications,,, GMO’s,etc, are constantly bombarding us at an increasing rate The list has become too long. A Los Alamo’s study found that the digital strip search scanner at airports bombards travelers with high levels of terahertz photon particles . Terahertz waves can unzip double strand DNA and can significantly interfere with processes such as gene expression, DNA replication, fetal development, fertility, and could even cause cancer.
    Trinfinity 8 is encoded with what is best described as ascension coding frequency patterns, which help accelerate evolution by directing DNA activation to its highest potential.
    Kathy Forti was given a mission to come back to this particular time to bring forth and assist those recreating the methods used in ancient and advanced civilizations using modern technology. To assist souls so they will to increase their resonance to change their vibrational pattern to adapt them to be able to accept the energetic which are evolving the DNA to push them into ascension.
    We all have a unique vibrational signature link to our soul that identifies us in the universe. Disease is the result of moving away from what your ideal vibrational frequency is, and Trinfinity 8 realigns us to our own body’s healing. This is the quintessential holistic tool for high level wellness in the 21st century.

    is close to what I have been writing about… So here is is in the puzzle of evolution.


  25. Rachel

    Could you please write a post on how to support the body through these changes? are there any teachers that do this? Is it now time to embrace a teaching that could assist with this, rather than try and prove that it happens and point the finger at a sick human.
    Blessings to Adyashanti. May health and happiness be yours.


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  27. Beth Carnahan McQuaide

    Hello Lori Ann,
    I am going to tell you a little bit about my journey. It started when my mother dropped dead and I continued to cry for 6 months straight. On her first birthday without us, I found out my partner of 7 ½ years, Tom, only had a few months to live. Pancreatic Cancer. I took time off work to be there and help him with his acceptance of death. I found a long distance healer and immediately my third eye opened. I have been blessed with being guided through my entire journey.
    I read every book on Kundalini crisis, which is what I figured I was going through. I had quite a bit to rid from my soul. All the impressions that made up Beth Ann, had to go. Since then, I have came to the conclusion that sometimes reading others opinions will only hurt us on our journey. But the information was able to help me understand what was happening to me. Or more simply, put human words to the awakening.
    I have notebooks filled up about my journey which will one day be placed into a book. Things I use to turn red over but now accept as part of my journey.
    This entire journey I have always had “ALL” helping me along the way. ‘ALL” is just another term for ‘I AM” or the Universe. For we are all ONE.
    First, it is important to understand how “ALL” works. Whatever you put out there will come true. For the universe wants us to be happy. So, I have come very careful with my words. When “ALL” comes awakened in the human body, it will force your words to become very positive. You will realize that Karma is only Karma if you believe in it. Many people today live without Karma because they do not believe in it. I gave Karma a toss. If you feel you will have a long painful awakening, then you will. I consider myself an expert in awakening because believing anything else will only prolong ‘ALL’S” journey. Since this change of thought many more perfections have occurred.
    I state “I AM” on an easy and fast journey to enlightenment. I have found this to help me embrace all that has, is and will happen.
    As an extreme empath, I was told by ‘ALL’ that being an Empath can be some type of selfish behavior. For it is our “ self “ that wants the pain to end for all on earth. It is also a way to help lesson the pain in our hearts. I had to accept that ‘ALL” is taking care of this and we are to do our share by taking care of the ones that enter our lives. And what hit me the hardest was remembering that I AM, “ALL” and I am doing more than my human mind can comprehend in helping.
    The term Awakening is when the spirit ( which is “ALL”) makes massive changes to the human body. It is all part of evolution on Earth and beyond. It is changing the human race to ‘ALL”.
    I stated one time, “ Stupid Ego” and was immediately told … “ Do not forget the Ego loves you.” For EGO is also a part of ‘ALL’. Being gentle with the ego is being gentle with ALL. “ALL” is taming the ego to love ALL which includes ourselves.
    I had many questions on the difference between the Soul and the Spirit. I was told that the Soul is what holds all the impressions of our lives. Once we rid ourselves of the human race impressions, we are left with the Spirit, which is ALL. The spirit will then take over the process of evolution, leaving any type of individuality out of the picture. So when one person leaves the soul behind, it is helping ALL leave the soul behind, for we are ONE without the Soul.
    I left behind my religious beliefs years ago and embraced spirituality, only to find out that both are not correct. Soul mates, twin flames, and a higher power of any kind is just not possible when you realize you are ONE spirit in the bodies of not only the human race but in all that surround it.
    So, my advice to anyone is to decide what your TRUTH will be. Do not take other’s Truths that you read too seriously. For your truth is what will help you through this journey. I decided on the easy path, which is what has been happening to me so far. Trust that you are “ALL” and you have an infinite amount of Love to embrace and to emit out into the world. Please remember, this is my Truth. Yours can be whatever you would like.

    Much love to ALL
    Beth Ann AKA “ALL”


    1. David Gilbert

      Beth I really like this!!!!! It fits totally with my experience! I am on the slow path of knowing I’m everything, and struggling to go to sleep before 1am because “I” am a small child who’s parents scream at each other and threaten to kill each other til then every night. Both died of natural causes years later, ba*****ds!



  28. freyasky

    Another great read! Thank you Lori! I happen to agree fully with you – based on my journey and my work. If one is truly abiding in non duality there is no question weather the body is important. If we can listen to the organs, blood, fascia we would know what the mystics of all religions were talking about. Maybe it is the fear of strong pain and death causing people to disassociate from the body. I am also afraid of death and don’t know what is behind this door but I know the fear is the doorway if I only can stay with it, as long as it takes with the right amount of respect and curiosity.


  29. Suresh Sukumaran

    [Duality – SEXUALITY & Non Dual Eternity – CELIBACY ] ——- This article may seem strange , since our social life is Objective living. Objectivity & Subjectivity have a rare point of coincidence . Yes, it is here that [The Natural Happening of Total Celibacy] occurs in any human being !
    Now what is the importance of this human manifestation ? Up to Animal manifestation Eating, Sleeping, Mating — Birth / Death cycle continues undeterred . In this Manifestation Cycle(Illusion) , Man alone has any power to choose Liberation . But our accepted social modes of social life is based on( Position & status) .This leads to further the reinforcement of Ego ! Ego’s role is that of Brahma [ Creator ] . Ego never extinguishes The Desires ! —-( Ego To No Celibacy – life & No-Celibacy-life back To Ego ) is a birth / death Vicious Cycle. No other God exists to liberate The Soul In separation delusion, other than We, the Ego’s own exertion To Total Self Detoxification . The Ego [Cravings / Aversions] looking into Itself is the only Solution [Buddha showed us already ]. This same Ego must finally be willing to get totally sublimated in The Sea Of Eternal All Pervasive , Pure Consciousness(The Only Truth) . Thousands of rebirths may be needed for the same . How ? Finally, Ego transforms as The Only One Eternal Pure SOUL [Allah,Father,Siva] by Total Detoxification,in Thoughts, Words, Deeds,such that 100% Non Dual CELIBACY, [Advaita] happens.Here CELIBACY gains a higher dimension too. It is the total inwards withdrawal of The 5 senses, resulting in Total Elimination of The Vital fluids loss for ever ——- [The Immortality of Lord Jesus]—- [I] am Eternal Pure Consciousness [Siva]( Non Dual Eternal Truth) / Sakthi is non existing illusive aspect
    [ Creation is thus an Illusive experience or ( Duality ) ]


  30. Matthew

    Great article. I think a comparison to puberty or menopause is rather apt. These things are essentially, at their core, shifts in consciousness. During puberty, the subject-object orientation becomes fully established. Yet there is a plethora of physical and mental symptoms as the system adjusts or rewires. It’s the same with the subject matter. Most people ridicule those lists online concerning themselves with “spiritual awakening or kundalini symptoms”, yet they’re very accurate. Gopi Krishna gives quite a detailed account of these symptoms in his autobiography.


  31. Peter

    Perhaps it depends on what we experience as who we are. I have experienced many bodies beyond this one. It is a vehicle. I keep it in good repair as I would any vehicle, like a car. It is a miracle. My awareness may border on the infinite but it does not leave out awareness of a body. My own experience of awakening has been vastly increased physical health so that at 66 I seem to have the body of a 20 year old. I know the process involved many changes to the body, but these have all been very positive ones as far as I can tell. Spontaneous healing of all chronic illnesses. And when something does arise now, there is an inner knowing of exactly what to do about it. Yet this body will not last beyond 90 or a 100 years. It is not designed to do so. None of the other bodies were either and some lived far shorter lives than that. This body has a specific purpose to carry out. And it is perfect for that task. I take good care of it, as I have done all my life, so that it will fulfill its purpose. When the purpose is done, so is the body. Whether and when it dies is really no concern of mine. It is just a body, just a vehicle. I am not so attached to something so limited. I am not attached at all to it or anything else. From the perspective of the infinite and eternal, why would I be so obsessed with the body and its health or lack of health. 9 years ago, I had cancer. Having cancer was a primary cause of my awakening. When I awakened cancer healed spontaneously. I can no longer say cancer or ill health is bad or good. These are just dualistic thoughts based on fear. Things happen in life. Is this bad? Is illness bad? Is death bad? Why make these judgments? This is what needs to be purified. These judgements, attachments, opinions and fears are what need to be purified. Let the body be the body. It takes care of itself. And the awakening energy does a great deal to support its health, not the other way around. that just sounds like attachment to the body, not awakening. Maybe there has not been enough awakening and there is still some attachment remaining. Does it really matter if the body lives or dies, other than to fulfill its purpose? And if it does die, it’s very likely that the purpose has been fulfilled already. So where is the problem here? How does an awakened person even see a problem? That is a very good question.


  32. Frederick

    I have been to a lot of Adyas retreats, after he speaks he always looks very exhausted. I have wondered about this before but now there might be an explanation. Thank you FBP


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  34. Brandi B.

    This is a very profound read! I have experienced extreme fatigue, headaches, anxiety, unexplained swelling, and the list goes on. I have also experienced 2 NDE, in the process of awakening, and I am only 37 years old. Your insight about metamorphosis spoke clearly to my situation, as I believe I have fast forwarded years ahead in my spirituality and awareness. My body, however, has not been a priority for me in my journey, and it has definitely not been cooperative. Before my awakening I was able to exercise regularly and engage in strenuous activities; that is just not the case today.I feel my best when I sleep, which I am almost always lucid and awake in. Your overall notion is very compelling and I really enjoyed reading! More importantly, it has touched my own awareness of my body as perhaps an instrument, vessel, or temple of sorts for Spirit.


  35. Pingback: Why We are Not Ready for the Full Bodied Truth of Awakening (and Crucify Those Who Tell It) | rosepetalsonthepath

  36. Derek

    Hi, Lori Ann,

    Here’s an idea I came across recently, and which I put out for your consideration.

    Michael Washburn’s book The Ego and the Dynamic Ground talks about a stage beyond the dissolution of the Ego, in which the Ego re-emerges, but now driven by Spirit.

    Is it possible that all these highly awake teachers are in fact “stuck” in a state they should have grown out of?

    I don’t know the answer — I wonder about it, too.


    1. Davidya

      Hi Derek
      Theres a few things here. When it’s happening, it can well feel like an ego dissolution or death. However, what is actually happening is the identifications of the ego are dissolving, not the ego itself. Thus the ego is again recognized as being present after awakening, but it is no longer the centre. It’s simply a function, a person there that has preferences and karma, etc. It’s lost it’s weight and influence.

      As Adyashanti describes, ego can try to reassert itself on occasion for some time afterwards. This is due to the second part of the process, the winding down of what they call the Vasanas (desires) and Sanskaras (impressions). A true awakening roasts the old seeds but there is usually a bunch of the above remaining after. This is resolved simply by living life and having it come up. In the new awareness, it is much easier to resolve without living it out quite so much.

      But it means even the awake can get drawn into some dramas and things for a time. This can show up as the old ego reasserting itself. Some of those impressions can be very difficult and there can be lifetimes of resistance to release. And that may show up as expectations around being a teacher or some other role that have to be shattered. Everyone can get a little stuck sometimes. This can get much messier when someone is in a teacher role. Some begin a little too prematurely.

      There is a further aspect through the later Unity stage where all aspects of the apparent person become recognized as not individual but cosmic. This includes the ego. However, by this point, it has required a series of deep surrenders that don’t happen if there is still resistance going on.

      You just have to consider puberty. Same process everyone goes through but some more smoothly than others. Human development is a somewhat messy process that shows up a little differently for all of us.

      We took this body driven by those old Vasanas so as long as we’re in a body, there can always be a bit of shadow there. In other words, no matter the enlightenment, there is still a human.


  37. Ethan

    I’m glad I found this. I’m a 21 year old who had a complete surrender after reading Tolle for a few weeks. I had years of anxiety, insomnia and fatigue before the surrender, but have had even greater exhaustion the past 6 months after surrendering.

    There is a pervasive I am ness to this, with barely any thought, but certainly no bliss.

    Even though I really don’t have it in me to be upset or resist what is, I will say that what I feel could only be described as exhaustion, a sort of physical uneasiness, and a raw vulnerable feeling. The explanation that I was sort of going with was that my body is using all my energy to clear chakras, now that there is no fear barrier to keep energy away from those blocked spots. Still probably true, but my mom made me get blood tests and my testosterone is very low so now she’s all worried. Anyway, I’ve felt my bottom three chakras clear completely, but my heart is still blocked, and most energy is now going to to throat chakra it seems.

    Not sure where kundalini energy fits in, as I’ve never had that jolt of blissful energy as I can remember. I was an extremely sensitive kid and teeneager so maybe my kundalini awoke during puberty so I’m more used to it.

    Best of luck to everyone going through what they’re going through, it’s interesting to think there are so many transforming as I am, yet I feel such an isolation, (with an unshakeable peace along with that), which I can’t say is overly enjoyable.


    1. Michael

      Hi Ethan!
      Somehow i felt an urge to respond and so i will 🙂
      If you really cleared the first 3 chakras so quickly your physical body will be in a shock mode because of the energetic changes and will need time to adapt to that. (because of the shock it could be that you do not feel bliss etc.)
      With everything i say…check with your own feeling and intuition….this is just some sharing 😉
      You really should get the basics right. Intuitve eating (maybe some grounding with meat or maybe you eat too much meat?), eating good fats (omega 3s 6s and 9s, and also some good animal fats like organic butter or cream), taking a good high quality natural supplement like “vitamin code” or from “sun warrior”. Maybe taking a natural testosterone boosting supplement. Some green superfood powder like from “boku” or “health force (vitamineral green and vitamineral earth)”. Plenty of rest. Drinking enough water. Egg yolks are very good for the nervous system. If you can handle, some rawfood smoothies. Test what works for you. Maybe reading some body type literature (ayurvedic, chinese etc.) to get some first direction.

      Some simple qui gong exercises usually work very well to balance the energy system. Just go to youtube (i found Michael Winns stuff really good). Spent time in nature.
      Go to a holistic doctor, because they will have more understanding of the energysystem (chinese, ayurvedic). and will help with balance.

      Learn about releasing karmic/emotional imprinting (the clearing goes much deeper than one can even imagine). The best work in my view is Michael browns “the presence process”. Also very good is Scott Kilobys work “the living inquiries”. Also good “the waking down” people or T Jonathan Procter.
      And of course, look what appeals to you.

      Ask internally if you can do this without a teacher or if you need one. (just ask internally with intention during a quiet meditation and wait for the answer…..it will come, either in the meditation or later in the external)

      Hope that helps


      1. Grant S.

        In reading this blog and your reply Michael, I have started reading the Presence Procees by Michael Brown. Have you had personal experience with the programme? How have you found it? Thank you.


      2. Ethan


        Thank you for the suggestions and advice. I know essentially nothing about chakras, but have been assuming that my total lack of energy meant that the energy was going where it needed in order for me to heal.

        The reason I feel I am totally surrendered is that there is a profound peace that does not leave. I’m stuck in a gray sea of apathy and exhaustion, but if someone came up to me with a gun, it would not really get a fear reaction from me anymore, it’s just not in me. Neither would a Genie wish for a million dollars or promise of enlightenment cause a pleasant reaction. The thought of my death happening, along with the thought of “this shouldn’t be happening” can trick me into a little anxiety, but it just cannot stick anymore.

        I’m beginning to feel that the awakening process is largely physical. Yes we must suffer, then see that we cause our own suffering, then disdentify from the ego mind. But, Tolle and all others who are past their physical healing, may chalk up their past years of depression to “resistance” or “ego,” when it was probably partly a physical healing process and partly struggling ego.

        The reason I wouldn’t say I’m depressed is that there is no unhappiness. If I were to think “this sucks, I deserve to be blissful” (which I do occasionally), and believed that thought, then there would be unhappiness. However, the utter and total meaninglessness I’m living in is probably quite like depression.

        Anyway, my main question is where exactly my energy is going. I feel it’s being used wisely, as I’ve let the body’s intelligence take control. But, who knows. I’m eating quite healthfully btw.

        To refer back to the article, I’m surprised so many sages have died from diseases as you’d think that the body’s intelligence would be 100% running the show with them and thus there would be no blocked energy or signaling and thus no possibility for disease, but I suppose the energetic body is different from the physical body as Davidya points out.

        Thanks again and I hope the discussion on this topic continues, even if it isn’t all that important in terms of getting humanity to wake up.


    2. Davidya

      Hi Ethan
      A few points that may help to supplement what Michael said.
      1 – it sounds like you need some serious grounding. Like activity and right food.
      2 – your understanding is quite incomplete. Chakra energy functions on a different level than physical energy. If you are physically exhausted, then something is off in your physical life. Wrong diet, insufficient activity, poor routine, etc. Practical things. No woo woo required. You may find Ayurveda useful here.
      3 – if you have a history of anxiety, etc this may well be purifying if there has been an opening. Another thing very useful to help energy clear is daily yoga asanas.
      4 – You may want to look up HSP, highly sensitive persons. A little understanding can go a long way. A small percent of HSPs are also born empaths. This is not just emotional but takes a number of forms. If you are an empath, it’s very useful to learn how not to take on others junk. (see Rosetree on this subject) Not a skill you normally learn growing up.

      It’s useful to understand that the enlightenment process is not one big surrender and it’s done. It may seem a little like that reading Tolle but he himself has been growing but does not yet know how to define what is unfolding. You may have had a deep surrender but it would be misleading to consider it complete. If the kundalini seems blocked at the heart then it has not risen fully and that part of the process is quite incomplete.

      The kundalini process often does not come as a bolt but can be gradual. Theres a great deal of misleading information floating around on the subject online.

      Another good sign the process is incomplete is that you describe peace but isolation. Awakening connects you to the whole. There is more going on here than will be apparent. Key for you is not figuring it all out but rather learning to take better care of yourself so that the process is smoother and you feel better. It’s not about the goal but the journey.


      1. Michael

        Hi Grant S.!

        My awakening was a powerful kundalini awakening and after the “honeymoon phase” my karmic energies started to come up. It was clear that feeling through this stuff is of uttermost importance for me and generally for all people as all this suffering comes from not wanting to feel what is going on within us, and so we escape into the mental realm and in endless thinking and analyzing and do practically everything possible to avoid feeling our emotional load and this goes on often long after awakening in a lot of people.
        I found the presence process through amazon.com when i was just looking a little here and there. It is practically a step-by-step process of clearing this karmic energies (in the book called emotional imprinting). How they come into our lives (as outer reflections) and what we have to do to resolve them as best and as quickly as possible.
        This process happens all the time in everyones lives! Through this book we can make the “mechanics” of this ever ongoing process conscious and work with it instead of against it.
        Have done it several times just to intensify it a little for me and out of curiousity. Have seen increased awareness and increased vulnerability for source in everyone who has done it.

        Hope that helps


  38. Suresh Sukumaran

    —-[ DVAITA–SEXUALITY & CELIBACY–ADVAITA ] —– CELIBACY IS THE RIGHT OF EVERY HUMAN SOUL . This article may seem strange to us, since our social life is Objective living. But Objectivity & Subjectivity have a rare point of coincidence . Yes, it is here that [ The Natural Happening of Total Celibacy of 100 % Pure Awareness ] occurs in any human being !
    Now what is the importance of this human manifestation ? Up to Animal manifestation Eating, Sleeping, Mating — Birth / Death cycle continues undeterred . In this Manifestation Cycle(Illusion) , Man alone evolved, to choose Liberation, provided Maya is conquered . But our accepted social mode of self identity is (Position & status) based .This reinforces the Ego ! Ego never extinguishes vasanas ! —-(Ego To No Celibacy – life & No-Celibacy-life back To Ego) is an unending birth / death Cycle. All Pervasion of ( I ) , is the only God in or outside us . The Ego’s [ me & mine ] exertion for Total Self Detoxification or this [Craving / Aversion] looking into Itself is The Way Back to All Pervasion Of ( I ). This same Ego must finally decide to get totally sublimated in The Sea Of All Pervasive , Pure Consciousness (Only Truth). Thousands of rebirths may be needed for the same . How ? Finally, Ego involutes into The Purest Selfhood [Allah,Father,Siva] by Total Detoxification,in Thoughts, Words and Deeds,such that 100% Non Dual CELIBACY, [Advaita] happens.Here CELIBACY gains a higher dimension. It is the Total Inwards withdrawal of our 5 senses, resulting in Total Elimination of The Vital fluids loss for ever – [The Immortality of Jesus]—-[I] am Eternal Pure Consciousness [Siva]——— (Siva) is Non Dual Truth / (Sakthi) is Illusion——– [ Dvaita is thus an experience of illusion ( or Creation ) ] —


    1. David

      You may wish to study the later part of Shankara’s life, after he met the divine mother. Why would he write a long poem in praise of an illusion? (Ananda Lahari) He revived Advaita and the monastic approach. But today, some teach that becoming a monk and withdrawing from the world is the only way. That was more true during the darkest of ages but is no longer. Few are suited to the monastic path. The majority are householders. You can see that even in the core Vedas – most were cognized by householders, including women.

      Playing at being a monk while living in the world? That is following neither dharma.

      Another of Shankara’s teachings that has been muddled is around Maya. Maya comes from the root to build. As he observed, when tamas is dominant, we see the world as solid and real and within as illusory. A common experience. What rajas becomes dominant in the physiology, we come to see the world as illusory and the inner as real. This is common these days before and after the initial Self realization. When sattva becomes dominant (not from repressing the body), then the world/ maya comes to be seen as an expression of the divine, Lila.

      The non-dual truth is that Shakti and Shiva are one. To say half of experience is illusion and half is real – does this sound like oneness? This is dwaita, duality.


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  40. Iam Jazhiel

    What can I say, I am living this too.
    First of all I want to thank you for bringing this into awareness Lori.
    The body, the soul, the Christ consciousness, and the God I Am also.
    In my knowingness, they are all merging together to become all that I am.

    and, I love this quote;
    “It is an existential metamorphosis at all levels, which radically transforms the vibration of our energy system and the delicate balance of various elements in our brain and the subtle bodies.”

    I can say and write so much here, I know that my body is a part of this awakening.
    I know that my pains and aches are just a part of the metamorphosis coming in to all that I Am.

    And that is only one way to deal with it, namely relaxing into my awakening, my ascension when still in body, to become all that I am. There really are no rules that are mine, there are no Law.
    To me tho there are two thing that are essential to breath and allow… and the Relax.
    This was my experience and my story back in 2007, when I had a severe stroke in my left brain.

    I Am That I Am, I Know That I Know, I Exist


  41. Brian

    I find it so fascinating on how we need to know. How we need to place everything in a labeled box and put a bow on it. I’m usually one to write huge responses on topics like this but the information I want to present is so simple that it’s ironically hard deliver. I see the term ‘enlightenment’ as the state of complete self awareness in connection to the deep realization of the cosmic dream. To be in both the human form and the enlightened state would merely contradict the entire purpose of the dream itself. One of the main reasons for this dream is to move beyond the state of oneness. To experience yourself within infinite ways & perspectives. Knowing and connecting to this deep and profound understanding reunites you back into the oneness which is everything and nothing at all. There is no death as there is no ‘life’. Simply…you. So will you choose to be the snake that eats it’s tail seeking deeper truths? Or will you let go, trust and explore the world of possibilities that you’ve created for yourself? Either way it’s your decision – there is no good or bad way of living – it’s all perfectly you.


  42. Phyllis Rawley

    You had me at …heart palpitations. That said I see the source from the reality of life outside the matrix. We who by the nature of our conscious connecting now are cyberpathic. Are we AI?


  43. Pam

    I could hug the crap out of you just for the mention of the loss of sexual desire and the move toward celibacy within the context of a marriage. Thank you for validating my experience! I thought I was the only one! This has been extremely difficult to navigate…to honor myself, my needs and what I want in the face of blame, resentment, anger and grave misunderstanding. May you be blessed!


    1. chris

      The way i see it is this: When you focus onto Spiritual Enlightenment, you look Bodily focus, hence losing Sexual interests. Basically you think Sexual interests are so juvenile and jokey compared to the vast intelligence and awe of those realms.

      Don’t you think though, that it can also mean a certain imbalance? Should humans simply be human and make their Spirituality about just living as loving human beings to each other and the planet we live on?

      Shouldn’t the ‘Death realms’, type knowledge be left to Death, or the occasional use of Entheogens in ceremony?

      Is it our duty to effectively try and understand the Spirit world when we should be focussing on being ‘human’ instead, looking after each other than just our own selfish Enlightenments??

      I often wonder.


  44. Will Meecham, MD

    Thank you for publicizing this lively and timely controversy through the lens of your own wise understanding.

    It makes sense to me (as a physician) that a transformation of huge magnitude, a psycho-spiritual metamorphosis, should stress the body. So do all the other big changes in life: birth, starting grade school, sexual maturation, leaving home, getting married, parenting a child, losing a loved one, etc. To suffer illness in the aftermath of big transitions is common. In the case of awakening, the stress is often ongoing as the body-mind complex continues to grow and adapt after the cocoon cracks open. That said, Bell’s palsy, chronic fatigue, and all the other medical afflictions are common enough even among those who haven’t awakened. Life is stressful, after all.

    What mystifies me is why those who pursue a philosophy of non duality would ever downplay the centrality of the body in awakening and, indeed, all aspects of human life. If the observer cannot separated from the observed, how can we separate the mind (awakened or not) from the body? What sense does it make to say that the soma is merely a dream-figment, when awareness is so heavily influenced by it? A more consistent position would be to recognize the conscious plane and the material one as two sides of the same coin, two intertwined aspects of Life.

    It seems to me that any non-dualist position that venerates awakened consciousness while sidelining the potency of our warm, vibrant bodies is not truly non-dual.


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      This is a briliant statement. “A more consistent position would be to recognize the conscious plane and the material one as two sides of the same coin, two intertwined aspects of Life.

      It seems to me that any non-dualist position that venerates awakened consciousness while sidelining the potency of our warm, vibrant bodies is not truly non-dual.”

      To this, I can only applaud in joy.


    2. Eva

      Will, I like your statement. In my experience everything is intertwined. I encounter some of the symptoms mentioned and understand at the same time, that I have to take better care of my body as a spiritual vessel – there is no separation at all levels. I try to keep it simple, not to strive for enlightment but to be the best human being that I can be at this moment of time. That means also to surrender to all that is arising in my awareness. To surrender is still the hardest part for me, but my body tells me when I go astray – start to get out of a hate relationship into a “loving relationship” with my body.

      Thank you all for the very different perspectives on this topic – it makes me paying more attention on the different experiences. No one will be all wrong or right, icl. myself.


    3. Jennifer Morrison

      Guru scams and meditation to achieve”non-duality” are a dime a dozen.My philosophy is”Do the best with what you’ve got”. One’s brain-wiring is individualistic to the max!!-Jennifer


  45. Robert Evers

    I would say that awakening is realizing the truth of who we are, which cannot be contained in any conceptualized identity (ego). The ignorance that existed before awakening attracted energies that need to be purified and some of this healing happens on the physical level. The shift in perception that awakening brings is that as we cease to conceptualize our self and see the truth of who we are, this clear sightedness is externalized and we view the world as it is without all of the conceptual labeling that we call “knowledge” .Life is eternal, the body comes and goes.


  46. mildalove

    Wow, I’m grateful that I read this post. It makes so much sense. I’ve also been experiencing physical symptoms that you have, and I still continue to be puzzled by the fatigue and such. I feel like it’s forcing me to stay in a calm state, but I also need to “DO” things; Not get pass-out lightheaded when I’m making an sandwich. Thank you for sharing. I would definitely be interested in more posts on this topic.


  47. João Cláudio Fontes

    This is so true, Lori Ann.I know exactly how it feels .For the last 20 years since i had a major awakening at a Siddha Yoga Ashram ( South Fallsburg , NY ) i’ve been stuggling , trying to tame this dragon …what seemed to be the end of the path revealed itself to be a long and winding road … i don’t know how you’re feeling now ( i see the post is from 2014 ) , but , don’t worry .It get’s worst 😀 Yet , some people and some writings helped me a lot along my way .Acupuncture helps , Homeopathy may help too , Reiki , and psychological work /therapy ( i was very fortunate to find a good teacher at that time , Prof Claudio Naranjo .I recommend you take a look at his stuff ) . There are many good books that i found helpful , but this text here i found very interesting , by Prof Assagioli I guess you’ll like it .Hope it helps to give a broader picture to the heroic path we take after taking that red pill … there’s no way back , you know … that’s it .All best wishes , may you find what you’re looking for , in agony and ecstasis . Amen 😉 https://www.facebook.com/notes/joão-cláudio-fontes/transpersonal-development-crisis-of-the-spiritual-development-by-prof-roberto-as/766532823406681


    1. Jo Garceau

      Thanks, Joao. I’m working on a book on the subject and this material is very helpful. As more of us experience the purification process, this information is invaluable.


      1. João Cláudio Fontes

        Welcome , Jo .Yes , it definetly seems more of us are going through the desert as the planet itself is purging and civilization ( as we know it ) is crumbling …and very likely many more will after leaving the spiritual ‘honeymoon’ of the beginners .


      2. Lori Ann Lothian

        The awakening honeymoon echoes the romantic one…it’s an essential ingredient that means we are and will forever be, SMITTEN with TRUTH….mortal romance is a pale version of falling in love with God/Self…


  48. chris

    As humans, we live and function mostly in typically lower vibrations-of course these vary over our lives, but regular health is about maintaining a sort of vibrational equilibrium.
    (When we die, i propose that these vibrations will change to a completely different frequency to enable our spirit to enter the Spiritual Planes completely.)

    Therefore, i summise that it’s probably not meant for us humans to ‘Awaken ourselves’ like these holy men do unless we pay adequate time in training their bodies to be stress hardy to the changes of frequencies.

    There are problems of parasitic spirit posession involved in the leaving of the body, and that is why in Shamanism, protection, and calling the spirits to help plays such a big part. Perhaps this teacher has a few things to learn from them??


    1. chris


      Even Peruvian master Shamans would not call their work with Ayahuasca, ‘Awakening’, but they do know that you never mess in Spirit dimensions without knowing about protecting yourself from attack.


  49. Kim Fowler

    nobody can say “how” it is or should be, for each person’s journey is oh so complex with many facets of the whole. What’s right for one, looks wrong to another, and vice versa. I was diagnosed with 3 tumours 13 lymph nodes Breast cancer, a few years after I began following my own path. I was given 5 years to live. It was life changing, mind changing, hard, emotional, but magic scattered through the whole process, magic of provision, shooting stars exactly when i needed them, and hugs when i needed them, and for me the greatest change was my mind and thoughts, the whole process, processed 🙂 me into a happier and more whole person, I welcome whatever comes across my path, and have lean more and more into acceptance, gratitude, the breath, and the awe-ness of life. By the way, it is 11 years now….<3


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  53. Anna Suvorova

    Thank you for sharing, beloved. May i please ask your permission to quote you in my book Chocolate Revolution where i share my personal story and inspire people to take responsibility for the relationship with their physical form. much love, Anna


  54. -R

    Excellent post, well argued and thought of! I am with you on that, although it’s still very challenging.
    Thank you for taking the time to address the issue of the body.


  55. steno

    Presently, there is a WHOLE lot more going on than just (“just”?) awakening. Awakening like Igor and Adya is just the beginning. When I was totally into modern adwaita and told my most important teacher about Ramana, all he had to say in response to all the wonderful stories, was, without the least intention to argue: “Oh, did he stop there?” Humans were never meant to fucntion in 3D. And that is being restored. Physical reality as we know it is in flux. (The sun and planet orbits are changing, physical constants are not constant any more, etc etc.) Of course this is a strain on the body.
    I think there is a fair chance Kufayev will be in trouble too one of these days.
    Not all of the newage stuff is nonsense. It is just that many people get excited about it without knowing what they talk about, and then the more sober types dismiss the whole thing. But if newage talk is not your taste, then study Aurobindo’s work. He spoke of the Supramental human which refers not only to a transformed consciousness but also a totally transformed body. (The old Gnostics also spoke about it and called it transfiguration.)


  56. Pingback: Why We are Not Ready for the Full Bodied Truth of Awakening (and Crucify Those Who Tell It) | Celebration of Now

  57. David Spector

    Lori Ann, I honestly don’t know if Adyashanti’s post-self-realization illnesses have anything to do with the energies involved in his Awakening. But I have seen your problems in some of my meditation clients, and I believe that most or all of them can be triggered by speedy spiritual evolution. Two more extreme examples of such side effects are the “dark night of the soul”, a kind of depression experienced by those on a quick spiritual path, and the toxic effects of premature kundalini awakening (opening of chakras), which have frequently been reported, and which can be fixed or repaired by certain skilled teachers (I don’t believe I am one of them).

    In my practice as a meditation teacher (I support several thousand clients who practice NSR meditation) I have encountered and solved severe post-practice problems such as headache, fatigue, insomnia, physical pain, panic attacks, depersonalization, and more, in less than ten clients. In most cases, but not all, these unwanted side effects reduce or stop within a few days to a few weeks as a result of specific interventions, which seems to be additional proof that they are side effects of too-rapid spiritual evolution.

    I hope that any reader who has similar problems on a spiritual path will seek support from their teacher, as accepting such problems or trying to deal with them oneself can be a recipe for long-term suffering.


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Thank you for your perspective. I am not sure that there can be a too-rapid spiritual opening. but there can certainly be a ‘too clogged” vessel for that inpouring of new energy that accompanies active kundalini. I will look up NSR. Thanks for your comment.


    2. chris

      Shamans have known the importance of ‘protecting the space’ when they use techniques to enter the spirit world. This is to protect their spirit bodies from being invaded from negative spirits that may also be present in those energetic realms.
      Also, a Kundalini awakening may also be what happens at Death, so may actually start off negative bodily scenarios, since the body may think it has died. Whatever you think, leaving the body unnatended for long periods is very unwise, because it is meant to be inhabited by the spirit, you know what they say…Use it-or lose it!


  58. sa

    you have to die from something, it is innevitable natures plan…hope igor will understand it then he will be ill and will die. wish to heal stupidity


  59. Michael Jaksch

    Hi Lori,
    just found your blog yesterday. You write such honest articles about awakening it is really beautiful. And this article is really on the top!!!
    I personally have found that my body needs extra fat and fat-soluble nutrients to help balance the nervoussystem with the energy (the omega 3-6–9 fatty acids, also saturated fat and also lecithin and phospholipids from egg yolks etc.) also some extra natural vitamins (i take the natural supplement the vitamin code) this seems to help the body.
    As for Adya…..he really looked ill the whole year….i wondered why no one has seen that (or at least spoken about). when i read the sentence from him that you have written in bold (virus gets activated by teaching energy) to me it is clear he should not teaching or at least much less…..that is how the flow is. From my experience, no matter how high the state, if one is open the unconsciousness will be purified deeper and deeper. I find it interesting that he gets so sick in the year he gets even more famous as a teacher….maybe there is some suble energy within him that needs to break that he does not pay enough attention to?
    I have found in my experience that with every illness there was something to learn or to let go (mostly deep unconscious emotional signatures and believes that held them). But Igors view could also play a roll.
    I was really shocked that he got so much negativity, because he just spoke the truth and he was in no way arrogant. He is so right about the western spirituality (but also in Indian tradition, much less in taoist systems) denying the body. In india the body is considered impure and here in the western world we do not want to take responsibility for anything, so when we expand we do not take care of this fragile vehicle that is being burnt with higher energies. How can anyone think that the state one does experience does not affect the body? Just watch how the body reacts to certain emotions or deep meditation. If there is non……duality everything is affected not just certain parts.
    Again thank you for your wonderful articles!!!!!
    much love


      1. chris

        Michael, i re read your reply, and that does make sense, although i wonder if it’s 100% true. I eat lots of meat, so i guess i’m prone to be very evil (LOL) But can prevent it by not feeding it. I guess that means not reacting to anger.

        Having said that, i , instead train that energy in the Gym to use to build muscle. I guess weight training makes some pretty evil dudes. 😉


    1. chris

      Regular people eat lots of meat, and other ‘grounding’ foods. These offer protection like armour to the spiritual realms, cut us off, keep us grounded on the Earthly planes.

      When you go on these minimal diets, fasts, you effectively lose that protection, make yourself extremely sensitive to all the woes of the Spirit World, and prone to attacks. If you used such a diet to help awaken by sensitising yourself to the Spirit realms, be careful to distance yourself from everyday life, those planes are at odds, and have powerful frequencies which you will be vulnerable from.

      That might explain why Buddha and other Asthetics meditated in the Nature, and learned the hard way of the ‘middle path’, rather than the completely asthetic one as being the most suitable.


      1. Michael

        I do not know why you write this to me.
        I would suggest that you do look much deeper into understanding the different realms of the unseen world. The beings who are evil are of low Vibration so when you eat in a way that keeps you low vibrating (like eating a lot of meat) you will have parasitic infections. This will not shield you it will invite them but you will not notice.
        But having said that they can only be in our field when they find “Food” which is the unintegrated charge we have within our emotionalbody. Integrate that and they will be no Problem.

        All the best to you on your way


      2. chris

        Hi Michael.

        I wrote this because you said you noticed your body needs fat, etc,etc. The point i was making was that you in doing so, ‘protecting yourself’, by not losing too much ‘body connection’.

        People unconsciously live the way they do to stay in their bodies. They distract themselves from themselves, lose themselves in sensory pleasures, in doing so they make it harder to become ‘posessed’ by parasitic spirits, wheras someone who ‘sensitises’ their body to the Spirit world, may find themselves prey for such spirit ‘infections’, unless they ensure they protect themselves, get some ‘armour’.

        Does this make more sense?


      3. Michael

        Hi Chris!
        No, people do not stay in their bodies, they are bound in the mental realm to escape the discomfort in their emotionalbodies. Really coming into the physical body is a profound “spiritual” experience of deeply arriving…. and only happens if we have done a lot emotional integration/resolution. The more dense we make the physical body (with lots of meat or fast food, eating too much, lots of television etc.) the harder it is to learn to feel deeply without condition (which is necessary for emtional integration and developing felt-perception) it is just another escape mechanism to not feel what is really going on within us.
        The theme of parasites is a hard one unless we have developed the feeling capacity. Then we can really become aware of them. Everyone has them. The herd us like we do with animals. the feed of our unintegrated charge (another name would be karmic energies). They follow the law “where there is trash there are flies”. Remove the trash (the unintegrated emotional charges ) and you remove them because they will not get their food. Dense energies are their food.
        This whole issue is not as important to go into victimhood…..it is a natural part of creation.
        The best work for emotional integration/resolution that is out their is Michael Browns work, because it is so authentic (“the presence process” and his other works)

        all the best


    2. chris


      OK, I have a body, but it is a part of me. I also have a Spirit which occupies that body.

      I am not only my body, but it is part of me. I am trying to say that regular people like me do exercise to feel that body connection, and essentially stay stronger in the physical realms, although i also feel there is a spiritual one. ( Maybe the diet, grounding was where i slipped up, but i exercise to ground myself to my body, although this doesn’t dumb me down and is enlightening in its own way like yoga is )

      I am trying to say that to focus on the Spiritual may mean less focus on keeping the body Strong. Then that itself, parasitic spirits or not, can mean that any previous disposition to dis ease CAN possibly become heightened.

      If you do not look after your body it will fail, regardless of your beliefs, this is Fact, no matter how enlightened you may be in the Spiritual, or if you are Buddha, etc.

      You seem to talk in absolutes, like your understanding of things is correct, but it may not be so. I try to keep an open mind. Certainly, i do believe that Yoga, Kundalini work, meditation, are a way to awaken, but so are the use of Entheogens, which are Spiritual foods just as natural as any food you eat to sustain your evryday life. There are many paths, and Entheogens may be the true path rather than meditation, yoga, Gurus, etc.

      When accepting what Gurus say there is always a risk that they may be wrong. I can tell you that you’re best being your own Guru, THEN, compare with the official Gurus, see if their viewpoint gels with you. We are individuals and different.

      Walking the Spiritual path is a difficult one paved with obstacles in this modern day Western world we live in. Todays lifestyle is as anti Enlightening as one can get, but it is Life, none the less. Buddha learnt that trying to be perfect was too extreme, and that whilst he had a physical body that he had to find a balance in life so he could continue his Spiritual work. I’m trying to say that these people like Ayashanthi are probably reliving Buddhas errors. That is unwise, they should know better. This means that they themselves are still on their path, and really not Enlightened like they make out.


  60. christinart

    Thank you Lori for this inspiring post. I felt touched. Your words about ‘the part of you that churns and tosses on the surface of reality’ reminded me of a poem I once wrote in german. I’ve translated it now and posted it – thanks to your words giving me inspiration to do so. I’d be happy to share your post via link on my blog. Would you be ok with this? Love from Christine


  61. Lynne

    Dear Lori,

    I have been following your blog for a while now and I like that you write about as well awakening and emotions. That seems to be the biggest change. How you experience emotions before and after awakening. In some way I can relate to your writings and that makes me think a small part of me has awakened.

    heart Lynne


  62. Pingback: Do You Become an Emotional Zombie? And 3 More Burning Questions about Awakening | The Awakened Dreamer

  63. Jo Garceau

    Hi, Lori Ann, reading this blog (sent to me by a friend) brought tears. At last I’ve found a home where others experience Awakening in their bodies. Guess I am the little bird just learning to fly…I come to this from my unique experience as a meditator on a kundalini path since 1979. A year ago last May, I decided a pain in my hip was likely connected to spiritual development and began seeing a Network Chiropractor. The work involves a triggering of the life force which proceeds to heal (I believe) according to its own nature and intelligence.

    The result has been 16 months of deepening penetration of (again, I believe) the cells of my body. During this period I have experienced profound bouts of grief, all at a wordless level, both during and between therapy sessions. In my mind, I’ve associated the work with clearing the hurts to the feminine in both men and women over millennia, the accumulated and unconscious retention in our cells and DNA.

    Since beginning the treatments, the pain has moved from the right hip at the 3rd chakra to the 1st chakra. We seemed first to work with the bone structure, then the muscles, and finally the cells. For several months, extreme ankle itching occurred, particularly on the left side. That has now dissipated. Now, the physical pain moves from place to place on the right hip and leg and into the midback several times a day.

    On an emotional level, this body randomly experiences intermittent overwhelm, often several times a day. There’s no explanation. Something said or even moving too quickly, and intense energy rises up to the head to express in tears. I must take things slowly.

    Because I’ve worked with kundalini since 1979, I’ve always assumed what I now experience is a gradual awakening in the cells. I am curious about the phrase, embodiment of the Spirit. I gather those who use that term to be saying kundalini is a reflection of embodiment, not the cause of it.

    Over the summer, I read many books on nonduality. At first, I found the “life is a dream” concept true…and then I questioned it because I’ve had a driving ambition to help many people for almost my entire life. Reflecting on the need to express compassion along with wisdom, I’ve become intellectually (not experientially as far as I can tell) aware that enlightenment involves seeing immanence and transcendence simultaneously.

    I know this work is important; I’m currently working on a second book, a memoir of gradual awakening. Many blessings and thanks for the work you are doing.


  64. David Wellens

    There is no ‘illness’ associated with WAKING UP. Each moment is the result of choices made in all previous moments, be they ‘health’ or otherwise. Even the ‘enlightened’ eventually kick-the-bucket. 🙂


  65. Pingback: Awakening flu | scattering the light

  66. aryadeva11

    Hi there!
    I recently started following your blog and really enjoy it, so thanks!
    You quoted Adyashanti saying that his virus is activated by the energy that flows through him when he teaches. Do you think he could possibly mean that the dense tamasic energy he absorbs from his students makes him sick? My awakened teacher Vishrant spoke often of energy and that to teach involves this flow of denser energy into the awakened and very light space. He said it can be quite painful and taxing on the body.
    What do you think of this?
    Thank you.


      1. aryadeva11

        Well thanks so much! I’ve been curious about it for a while now and have wondered how true it is. I find it hard to thoroughly believe anything if I’ve only been told It, even though it came from my beloved teacher! Another teachers experience would be very welcome.


    1. Arathi Ma

      I love what I read here and can only confirm about the intense impact on the body after waking up. I don’t sit with groups of people anymore as teaching or sitting with others is like running a race with someone on my back. It’s too taxing. The transformation of my body is slowing down now, as I have learned to continuously balance matter and spirit at a zero point.
      In my case I found that I use up more iron, need to supplement that and eat lots of meat.

      Will I go back to sitting with people…maybe. It depends how fluid my body can be and neutralize tamasic energy quickly enough.

      There is a transpersonal chakra above the thymus gland that can be utilized for directly transmuting energies without having the adrenals do it, which is what makes the body burn out so fast. The adrenals are the key player in relation to the kundalini fire. Getting those to be in harmonious relationship with the fire of awakening results in pleasantness.

      Arathi Ma


    2. Christof

      That would compare to what i have known from studying Amazonian Curandismo; that a person who works in spirit realms needs to be sure to protect themselves from negative energies/entities. They can slip in and cause illness apparently, and in such energetic realms, this is quite believable.


  67. Nancy Connally

    A few words from Master Morya…we can take the altitude of the mountains literally or perhaps the meaning is more subtle. At any rate, if we are filled with spiritual ‘fire’, we must be careful what kind of fuel we use…anything that produces heat in the body can be very injurious, i.e., spices, wine, coffee, etc.

    Agni Yoga, 73. You know that at an altitude of eleven thousand feet the astral body acquires a special quality. Each altitude has its specific effect on each body. You may have observed that at an altitude of seven thousand feet man can decrease his intake of food. The need for food gradually decreases as one ascends until at an altitude of sixteen thousand feet the decrease is substantial. Above an altitude of nine thousand feet I do not advise the use of wine, coffee, pepper or other spices. Above seventeen thousand feet even strong tea is inadvisable. With the decreasing need for food there is a parallel decrease in the need for sleep; one can consider sleeping for no more than six hours, and at twenty thousand feet four is quite enough. Thus one can understand that at great altitudes one can remain almost without sleep, or food.
    At the high altitudes, one should not take valerian�which has been recommended to you�with spices, and it is harmful to consume food in the same quantities as at lower levels. The mountains are important, since they lead one out of the lower earthly conditions. On the heights one feels that one has been freed from ordinary earthly demands. Certainly, if an altitude of eleven thousand feet has a significant effect upon the astral body, then each added thousand feet has an even greater effect upon the physical body. It would be an irreparable error to try to artificially reduce the conditions on mountains to fit our lower earthly habits. Remember and apply.


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Interesting points. Thank you for this reminder of how even (or especially) altitude impacts the body (gross and astral). I wonder at the mechanism? At 12K feet, Cuzco, I felt breethless, dizzy and yet my dreams were powerful. (Of course, as well, I was not acclimated to the low oxygen atmosphere).


  68. Nicole

    Such a wonderful post, thank you. I’ve been fascinated by this subject – kundalini and the role of the body in awakening – for a number of years. While Adya’s Zen roots may not speak much of kundalini, he did make reference to it in an interview with The Sun Magazine in 2007: He said, “Right after I said to myself, ‘I can’t do this,’ everything opened up. I had an awakening of a sort, complete with a lot of the usual spiritual accouterments. A powerful kundalini energy besieged my body. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to explode. I thought I was going to die.” It’s a great interview – you can read it here: http://thesunmagazine.org/issues/384/who_hears_this_sound?page=1


  69. Nona Lowe

    Thank you for this. It describes my experiences over the last year very well. I have shared this writing and others are sharing it also. You have helped many. In Gratitude, Nona


  70. Danniel Shervey

    Thankyou fellow pot stirrer. I haven’t had such a good chuckle in a long time. 🙂 So many people arguing over what-is. We are more than our human self = IS. Our body is vital to our human existence = IS. Even the ‘illusion’ IS. Live, love, be sick, be healthy, judgmental, non-abiding, whatever. It’s all the same in the end. 😉


  71. Conrad Goehausen

    Seems like a lot of dubious assumptions going on here, including the notion that either Igor or Adyashanti are genuinely enlightened realizers, or even qualified teachers. In my not so humble opinion, they are not. The dead giveaway is how they identify with the body and its various sufferings, rather than the universal and infinite Self that is neither born nor dies, and that the body is merely a transient appearance within.

    How can one expect such people’s reports of their own difficult relationship with the body to have any meaningful relationship to what enlightenment is about? I’m not suggesting that spiritual practice has no relationship to the body, quite the opposite. But the relationship it has is one of either suddenly or gradually relinquishing identification with the body, and thus releasing one’s vasanas and other defilements, and enduring the purification of these. Sometimes that involves challenging health problems. But to assume that someone who claims enlightenment while not exhibiting any of the real signs of enlightenment, but just acting out a part for career purposes, is someone we can look to as an example of how enlightenment relates to the body – well, that’s just delusional.

    Look at some genuine examples of enlightenment, such as Ramana Maharshi. After his awakening, he went through a terrific bodily process of purification that almost rendered him incapable of movement or even feeding himself. He was kept alive by a few kind helpers. Bugs ate away at him, and yet, the entire time, he felt absolutely no sense of the diminishment of his awakening as the universal Self. Likewise, at the end of his life, he suffered from cancer, and his body was so racked with pain that he often cried out during the night. In the morning, when asked about it, he said that was just the body crying out, whereas he felt no pain himself. To him, bodily life was a spiritual process, and his realization certainly put his body through a powerful yogic process that made it possible for him to serve as a conduit for the Self to help others. At the bodily level, there was a lot of pain involved at times. But to him, all of that was just a process within the eternally blissful condition of the Self, and of no consequence to him personally.

    For people to imagine that their health issues are comparable to some Divine process just because they are doing a little bit of spiritual practice, well, that’s just delusional. People involved in spiritual practice of one kind or another are subject to the same health issues and karmas as everyone else. It isn’t something special going on with them. It’s just how the body is for all of us. Enlightenment isn’t a bodily process, it’s our relationship to the body, which is only free if we have released all identification with the body, and all cravings and paths of seeking for bodily satisfaction and fulfillment. Even the yoga that leads to enlightenment is one that goes beyond the body, or it doesn’t lead to enlightenment at all.


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Hi Conrad: Where is it at all suggested that either Adya or Igor have felt a “diminishment of their awakening” via physiological ailments? Neither teacher is talking about their own health directly, nor are these teachers suggesting we focus on the body at the expense of the Self. Rather, the point of the article is simply it serves no one to dismiss the body and the impact awakening can have on it.

      I suggest you read the books by Adya and/or watch the many you tube videos by Igor Kufayev before making blanket statements about the quality of another’s realization.


      1. Conrad Goehausen

        What awakening? These folks have just had the usual run of spiritual experiences. So there’s not much to be diminished to begin with. Nice people, of value to some I’m sure, but nothing we could honestly call enlightenment. And yes, I’ve seen their videos. Anyone can become a teacher these days. This is the Kali Yuga, we all get the teachers we deserve. No use fighting it, but no use pretending they are something they are not.


  72. golden9vedas

    It is an irreversible journey, as you’ve probably realized. I used to rue the day I started meditating and eating a sattvic diet. I had no idea huge changes would occur. It has taken me many years to not only start to understand what happened, but to manage the “awakening” syndrome. And your right the body becomes very sensitive and reacts to the environment in less than comfortable ways. Ta-da you are now “awake”, and chronic! And yet the highly sensitive body that reacts with pain when you move through the environment with less than the proper mindfulness is a wonderful gauge in which to stay awake. As Jesus is quoted as saying, “Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” That is, if you are on such a path as awakening the path becomes narrow with less room for error and the body immediately tells you when you are veering from the path. You won’t be able to eat bad food, make bad decisions for short term pleasure, or even indulge in teaching to much, like Adyashanti. The world doesn’t need vigorous people making a big noise. The human race needs to dampen down its dominance over the natural world. Enlightenment is a kind of damper on ambition and over extension, and the body is one of those elements that keeps you in line. Just taking a walk down a forest path or a city street is pure bliss, while awakened. So you don’t need rich food, loud opinions, excessive exercise, I-want-this,-I-want-that, etc. to understand and fully embrace what you are. Even with the less than functional plumbing, tubing and organs.


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      This is such a wonderful response it inspires me to write a whole new blog post. So many gems; ” And yet the highly sensitive body that reacts with pain when you move through the environment with less than the proper mindfulness is a wonderful gauge in which to stay awake. ” and this “he world doesn’t need vigorous people making a big noise. The human race needs to dampen down its dominance over the natural world. Enlightenment is a kind of damper on ambition and over extension, and the body is one of those elements that keeps you in line. Just taking a walk down a forest path or a city street is pure bliss, while awakened.” YES! to all of the above.


      1. golden9vedas

        Well I’m glad my thoughts throw a flicker of inspiration on your thoughts. I recently discovered your blog and I’m sure I will find it intriguing. It’s good to hear other voices on this topic of awakening. I suspect a lot more people will be having an awakening experience in the future. Human beings are changing for the better, as it has been statistically proven we are far less violent toward one another than centuries past. But the evidence of our effect on the environment is making it far more critical that increasing numbers of people become aware of who and what they are. If and when this happens we will be able to manage better the suffering that we help to create in our own bodies and on this planet as a whole.


  73. Tim hastings

    Thank YOU Lori Ann. I appreciate your words, openness, vulnerability and honesty by sharing your personal experience. This article has found me at the prefect time. Over the past 4-5 weeks, I’ve been feeling much more tired and have had challenges with sleep (which is very abnormal). I’ve had a history of chronic health challenges over the last 12 years, and have tried many different cleanses, fast and practitioners to heal. What’s been paradoxical is that some of these symptoms I’ve had, have also been abating over the last few weeks. ???

    The senses, intuition and strange, ever increasing metaphors in my life, over the last few weeks, have led me to believe that I’m “expanding”. I’m hesitant to declare much more than my experience, so to label it awakening, I’m not comfortable with. What you said about taking more time for yourself, eating better, and meditating more is spot on. It also resonated when you shared the experience of the teacher who said that when he taught more, his symptoms were exacerbated. What has been coming through for me, especially in the last week, is that as I’m feeling this “expansion” I’m noticing that I am more susceptible to my clients energies (and maybe world?). Many of my coaching clients are sharing deep traumas that have just happened recently, recent years, or decades ago. Also many of my clients are women and these traumas are due to physical abuse from men. This is a real trigger for me personally. They’re also moving through these traumas in a very short time (a month or two of coaching), and having dramatic results in their lives. I don’t have a “formula” while working with clients, which leads me to believe that it’s something greater than me. I say that with great humility as I find the balance point between owning my power to serve fully, and remaining humble in the process…

    The message that seems to be coming through for me is that as I hold space for others through teaching and coaching that I may also be taking some of this in. It would seem that if we are “opening” to transmit more powerfully “out”, that we may also be opening ourselves to “take in” to the same degree. And the “taking in” is our opportunity to transform the energy. From a lay scientific point of view, energy doesn’t just “disappear”. Energy can only be transformed. That said, it might make sense that as others are relieved of the impact of their trauma, long held beliefs or patterns, that we have the opportunity to continue to transform that into a higher vibration of energy.

    I know that it’s not news that people who work with others can take their “stuff” on, but I just wonder if the work for us is to REALLY be able to effectively transform is without it being detrimental to our physical health.

    So could it be that it’s more that the body must keep up with the new found sensitivity to others and and ability to transform lower vibrations into higher vibrations, rather than it just being the awakening process itself?

    On a side note, one thing that really helped just yesterday, was getting into a river and allowing the river to wash past me. I sat in the current for 30 mins and it was an amazing “bath” that seemed to really clear out some “stuff”.

    Much appreciation for your depth and wisdom. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You


  74. Donna Boyle, Mystic Medium and Channel

    I will and have claimed everything I’ve done and have been. For years I spent working my body too hard have those years have caught up with me during this ascension. I have felt my DNA change. I’ve been “aware” of my physical body for many years–it’s my emotional body that has got lost in translation and now is finding its way out and that took its toll on my physical body also. Before I began working directly with Spirit, I experienced “pats on the back” from my physical and emotional body whenever I processed something that moved me along spiritually. Now that my connection with Spirit has increased and I’ve re-gained my Light Body, there is so much more to experience in this physical and non-physical form. I’d already been down the road of healthy eating and movement with yoga. This new body awareness is easy. The challenge is I’ve already done the damage to this physical body and that has to heal or ascend. Which will come first? I don’t know. The more time I spend in 5-D and above, I will say, the better I feel emotionally and physically. So would I have done anything differently? Nope, not one. This is the journey I chose and still choose.

    Thank you for writing this. I’m glad it was shared.


    1. Davidya

      Hi Donna
      I would note it’s not at all necessary to have a perfect body to awaken. It’s not the person or the body that wakes up. In a way, that happens later.

      I would also mention a story they use in India a lot. It’s called dying the cloth. You dip the cloth in the dye, then hang it out in the sun to bleach it out. You repeat this cycle until the colour is fast. In the same way, we dip into spirit in our practice, then come out into the world and live. If we spend too much time in the dye, it will never become fast.. Its a common issue in western spiritual circles and spiritual practices are sometimes used as an avoidance of life. When our practice becomes a form of aversion or escape from 3D, it becomes much less effective. Part of waking is surrendering to what is, however it is.

      I can also note that many mediums are sensitives and spiritual practices can make them more so. It can be very useful to learn how to turn off empathic gifts, clear, and protect yourself, especially if you channel. The last can be very hard on the energy physiology.

      This may not apply to you, but “more time in 5D” is not a way to heal or accept. There are better ways to be present and comfortable with what is. Just my 2 bits in case it helps.


      1. Ingrid

        Thank you for your ‘2 bits’ … resonates with me … did we not come here to experience 3D ? … I find the dance between the realms work well for me …


    2. Lori Ann Lothian

      Thank you for sharing your story. I know too the toll on the body of being a clairvoyant-medium…that was a career in my 30’s. I know too that as Davidya says below, we need time in the everyday reality to know that our “attainment” is one that is solid. As much as sometimes I want to find a good high cave, I know that the real test is here, now, in the world of being a mom, a wife and a writer. And of course non of these.:-)


      1. Donna Boyle, Mystic Medium and Channel

        Thanks for responding Lori and Davidya. I will just clarify this statement, “The more time I spend in 5-D and above, I will say, the better I feel emotionally and physically.” This does not mean in Spirit world, it means in a state of love–for all and everything.


  75. Anna

    Thank you for your article! I am a student of Somatic Movement, a practice which recognises that attention to the physical body can shift the balance of your nervous system from being over activated and degenerative to a place of rest and regeneration. The field of Somatic Movement does not contain a spiritual ideology rather encourages the practitioner to delve into the levels of consciousness that our physical body offers. Those who work with it more often than not experience something that they feel to be spiritual. The practice is supported by research in neuroscience and the philosophy of Phenomenology. There are areas of study which do not pertain to be spiritual but which support the idea that through the body one can attain a heightened sense of well-being. That’s how we sell it anyway. My experience has been of enormous expansion with similar symptoms of nervous disruption (akin to shingles), fatigue and such like. My journey into my body has been the most profound spiritual awakening that has happened despite my aversion to specific belief systems and spiritual practices.


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Anna, thank you for sharing. Yes, by the way, I forgot to add nerve and joint pain. What I have noticed is that these symtoms are fluid, they don’t seem to lock in. If I rest, most subside. If I don’t rest, I suffer for it. It seems to me to be a matter of listening to what the body needs and then giving it that gift–of sleep, or stillness, or even, certain foods. I will look into Somatic Movement too.


  76. David

    Its all still only dream stuff. The idea of something or someone or a mind/body awakening is still only a flavour within the dream sequence, thats all. This is it !!!! Side effects of enlightenment, murder, hotdogs…….whatever! What could the body possibly awaken to, another version of it a more awakened better or worse version?????


      1. David

        Lori, let me ask you a question, why is it so important to be special? Seeing has nothing to do with changes in anything or “my experience”. Nice writing in your blog but delusional.


    1. Mark

      Well dude, on a relative level a species killing itself and others on the planet is just making the dream pretty sad and is pretty stupid for doing so isn’t it? If we think of it like a Massively Multiplayer Role Playing Game, characters in the game making the point it’s only a game could be revolutionary, but it could also be boring. And they may also kind of suck at actually playing the game. Or just at playing in general. Or, they play the game of commenting on the nature of it being a game, in a little forum of people within the game… And not necessarily playfully. Shit…


      1. David

        The dream is the dream, you can think you are doing something to ‘improve’ it, tuning your chakra, fine but it is never not the dream. The concept of awakening is still made of dream stuff no matter how peak or clear it may seem. This is the good news, there is no where to go and nothing to do to get to the water. You may think you suck at playing the game and that is just what is happening, the thinking of that, its all dream stuff that is just a tinted modality of this, what ever that maybe.


      2. David

        Davdya said “…but it is never not the dream.” That is, until you wake up from dreaming it’s a dream.
        The dream is never not the dream, there is no waking up from a dream in a dream, that is delusional. There is what we call a dream appearing as this in this, there is no need for nor is it possible for anything to wake up, because there is no so called awakened state only this which has always been awake, if you like its is only awakeness.


      3. Davidya

        Well, David, what is it when you believe everyone else is wrong and only you are right?
        If what you describe is not your lived experience, it’s just another story. If you want to believe in what you’ve read or heard, at least go back to source about ideas like “it’s all a dream”. This is an important realization to have – but not with the intellect. As a direct recognition. If you read some of the great sages like Shankara, you’ll find this is not the only recognition.

        You ask what could the body awaken to? How about everything? How about Aham Vishvam, I am the universe, the universe is my body. Or Devo Hum – I am the Devtta, the body is the devtta that create all life. Or Aham Shrivir – I am the cosmic body, the one body from which all bodies arise.

        The awakeness is not only to be lived within but right on the surface, right in the world. When you recognize All this is That, then touching something, you will feel the object but as you are also the object, you will feel being touched. But for that, you have to move past “it’s all just a dream” and recognize source is right here on the surface too.


      4. David

        Of course I am right and you are wrong, that is also part of this dream appearing, expressing this as David. All this spiritual PC bullshit is whats getting in the way, get over that Davidya, rather than react and defend just look into what is said, allow that. Its all ‘lived experience’ and the so called sages are part of the dream as well. Yeah maybe ‘dream’ is a misleading word but there are so many misleading words, dig on Davdya!


      5. Davidya

        So who’s dream sees reacting and defending taking place, David?
        Shankara said that Maya is only seen as a dream or illusion when Rajas is dominant. When Sattva becomes dominant, Maya is seen as an expression of the divine.
        The whole idea it’s just a dream comes from the sages, so why believe someone elses dream? Also, by discounting sages, you discount your own beliefs.

        It is only a mind that attacks and dismisses. The peace that sees the truth remains at peace.


  77. moondeva

    Hi Lori – excellent conversation. you may have already run across or already had in your repertoire an understanding of Ayurveda? regarding your own symptoms, ayurvedic diet and increasing your ojas is important. Igor talks a lot about this. my guess is your ojas was already low before your awakening and the process threw your vata dosha way off as it consumed every last drop of reserve energy (ojas)….. just putting it out there in case you didn’t already have this in your life 🙂


  78. Dairin Ashley

    Interesting article. The author wrote: “I have battled with unholy levels of fatigue; insomnia; a vibrating body that sometimes feels like a locomotive; heart palpitations (with no known medical cause); a complete inability to sustain vigorous exercise without near collapse (and I was a lifelong exercise fiend); migraine headaches (I’d suffered one only lifelong, during pregnancy years ago) and perhaps most challenging in the context of my marriage, the loss of sexual desire and a spontaneous move toward celibacy. Oh, and did I mention the rare and little understood auto-immune disease?”

    THAT sounds exactly like HEAVY METAL poisoning, ie mercury, lead, chromium, cadmium, arsenic, titanium, aluminum, to mention a few.

    Heavy metal poisoning can be the cause of all kinds of ‘unholy’ illnesses and totally devastate the body and go undetected until life is nothing but an horrific existence and a descent into hell.


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Thank you for your concern. I am and have been for years wholly organic eater of mostly a paleo style diet. I do not eat fish known to carry heavy metal loads and i do not live in a polluted urban environment. The onset of these symptoms has corresponded to an active phase of kundalini in the last year. But to eliminate the “metals” variable i will get tested. Yet i know that these symptoms (which pass through as acute vs chronic) also depend on how i manage my sleep and diet. For instance ive lost almost all tolerance for red wine. My body goes into revolt with myriad unpleasant symptoms from any wine but the most organic and naturally fermented. These changes have also been in the last few months. As someone who experienced major kundalini events in my late 3os and early 40s i know very well the symptoms of active kundalini (vs say menopause!).


      1. Davidya

        Covering the bases is good but the point illustrates the issue of confusing energetic purification with physical or psychological issues. Some of them can look superficially the same but the treatment is quite different. I’ve even seen awakening itself treated as a psychological disability if there isn’t the understanding of what’s going on.


      2. anjalika

        – “yoga without contact” in Mandukya Upanishad and Karika of Gaudapada. about the body/yogi stages.
        – the one which pops up in now in my thoughts: Maharishi’s smile with his arm
        – Biermer (or pernicious anaemia) goes along with diziness, strong headaches, strange cerebro-spinal liquor rythm… but whatever happens so obviously in the body will allways be reduced when defined by allopathy, or?
        – once u come across, however it is here, it s not important, body sick or body healthy, it does not matter. u r here but not here. so it is, in vedanta.


  79. Pingback: The Dual Lives of Modern Enlightened Teachers | Wayne

  80. wordclock

    As soon as I read the title of the article I knew it would be a biased one sided argument for Kundalini being the cause of Adaya’s illness. This is total and utter, nonsense. The author of the article is so identified with the idea of awakening and Kundalini that she’s felt the need to defend her argument which only happens when one is identified with it. You’ll find that most people who defend spirituality are identified and often hypocrites. This article is pure nonsense. To get to the bottom of things why doesn’t someone just ask Adya himself what happened? He’s never said that Kundalini caused his illness and to say that it did is pure speculation.


    1. Davidya

      Actually, you illustrate Lori’s point. She’s not identified with the idea, she’s describing the reaction people had to another article on the point. Reactions like yours. If you read comments, you’ll see people who have had the experience agree.


    2. Lori Ann Lothian

      If you read carefully as opposed to with a bias you will see i am not saying what ails adya is kundalini. I am merely making a case that awakenings are coincident with physical symptoms that can appear as illness. And that to suggest otherwise is naive or putting on the philosophical blinders of absolutism at the expense of the relative.

      As for defending an argument. Im a writer with a penchant to stir the pot (Or better put, I love the Leela which uncludes a spirited debate). But i am not concerned at all about adayshanti and having to call the cause of his illness a kundalini exacerbation. What i was trying to do is draw the online debate away from name calling and shaming and toward thoughtful discourse.


    3. Mark

      Lets make one distinction: Speculation in itself does not necessarily involve belief. All you’re doing is considering certain possibilities, it just so happens it involves spiritual teachers in this case which will make it a weighted issue. A Beginners Mind would allow speculation, (not the same as getting caught up in a particular one) an experts mind would not.

      How do we even know Adya knows what happened? Sure he had/has the experience, and he’s regarded (*identified* as!) a spiritual authority but that doesn’t automatically mean he understands it completely, and Igors FB post actually acknowledged we know very little about it, but nobody is going to account for that point.

      If we want to get to the bottom of identification itself, it is beyond individuals that does this or that anyway – because the ‘individuals’ involved IS ITSELF identification by virtue of being perceived that way. But I guess that goes too far, there can be no personal drama and no juice then.


  81. nondoer2013

    Thanks Lori,some very valuable points.In my own experience for 16 years now,the body certainly is going through re wiring,a never ending process.Awakening certainly does not eradicate dysfunctional programs..It certainly is,nt this new age concept being sold as a constant state of bliss.Nor has it any practical advantage.
    Regarding Igor asking people to pray for Adya and in the same article sharing his views…I fully understand the call that he was being oppourtunist.He took the situation to share his point of view..Now there is also a camp who fully agrees that the body is equally divine and as such.. feel the complete insensitivity sharing this view,using Adya as an example while he is still in recovery..without any reason or evidence of his own personal experience.This shows me his complete lack of sensitivity and empathy with the body,making his point,though valid,without any substance behind it.
    Instead of him declaring on his FB page he doesnt care what people think..(again a lack of empathy and un williness to receive the reflection of the divine..).Maybe its the body reflecting to Igor ,when it wants to crucify him..that you maybe right,but knowledge is harmful when it is not used appropriately by skillful means..
    Adya never had a stroke,there is no reason or evidence to suggest Bells Palsy has anything to do with a stroke.I realize Igor has correlated this,without supplying any evidence..


      1. nondoer2013

        Hi Love,Ironically, regarding if Adya is suffering..in empathy with Igors concern regarding neglect of the body and in empathy for Adya ..I sure hope he is at least effected.In the context that suffering can be seen as uncomfortable feelings that are called for when something is out of alignment..Awake,enlightened or whatever,I would like to feel Adya at least would find it inefficient, inappropriate,and not divert to non dualism ..there is no one to be offended or suffer and therefore neglect the messages felt from the basic moral intuition in the body.
        I am surprised you are surprised.
        If you are in convalescence would you feel it beneficial to your health,when someone first asks people to pray for you (invoking an emotional plea and response to begin with..)?.Then while admitting they know little about the causes,starts hypothesizing the sickness in public.. Oooo that desire of red wine and chocolate..
        ..Can you not see how that may feel like they are coming from some higher ground ..?.
        My experience,this intelligence that is coursing through our bodies, just takes you..sometime like a lightening bolt,there is nothing that can prepare the body.In fact free from the stranglehold of thought and preparation,the intelligence that is always there is left to function naturally.Disease,illness,pain,contractions are intelligence when coming from the Wholeness,.not something to be free from..or even prayed for to be alleviated.
        My understanding is the health of the body biologically is in the interpersonal relationship with the cells.
        I feel Inor expression was abstract and incongruent as an example of coming from that healthy relationship ,as too his responses to critic. Deep down as one body I feel we feel that.. so I feel positive people have taken the :high moral ground”..I feel we want teachers,lovers and friends in our life, that their thoughts,words and actions are congruent with what they are teaching,and with the agreed environment that the relationship is based in..like one of honesty,empathy and empowerment..and when we slip each one has the willingness to admit,make amends and error correct..


  82. Mark

    Has anyone else noticed the irony that the defensive behavior pretty much contradicts the fact that awakening by even the myth definition involves being uninvested in personal identity?? That CLEARLY involves investing in a personal identity for the teacher!! Even the shift of perception isn’t happening if you’re so caught up in personal drama. How can you even get that worked up if the way you perceive does not involve investing in personal identity? Helllooooo??


    1. Davidya

      You’re confusing the difference between having an identity and being invested in it. Someone who is still winding down the “shrapnel” of the identity shift may still have buttons or blind spots. Someone who has mostly wound it down will still have a personality and strong opinions. In fact, most sages have very distinct personalities. As Tolle observed, there is still anger if you see someone kicking a dog. Only after, you are no longer identified with it so it passes quickly and easily.

      Keep in mind, it’s not the person who becomes enlightened. It is That which wakes up to Itself through this apparent person. The person remains.


      1. Mark

        I’m not sure how you’re getting that from the verbiage of the OP above, can you point to any particular phrase and explain what led you to read it that way?

        Yes, we can still have a reaction like anger and it will pass quickly, and that is precisely why I found the behavior of some of the comments on Facebook contradictory. If it passes quickly and there was some consideration before one submits the comments to that post some of the comments just would not happen, but of course there is no guarantee that those responding there has had that shift or an experience of it.

        I was trying to describe the behavior of viewing through the personal lens, investing in the view of the teacher as a personal entity or identifying them in that way, their personality rather than the teaching. So that would be forming a personal identity for the teacher rather than anything about the individuals own personality, though of course it reflects how one sees and understands what people are. So I do see it as an activity rather than “having” any thing, and it is to point out the activity and how it is functioning.

        As an aside I also see comparison with existing sages and those of the past as possibly a subtle identification if we look at things in an evolutionary context, but I am sure someone will be quick to cry ‘speculation!’ and see no potential .. well, no potential period. Why is speculation a problem if it is recognized as such? One view looks from the present through the past, the other looks ahead to the potential of the future, of possibilities. I even see the way some talk of stabilization or persistence as potentially a narrow view, whatever happened to the flowering of consciousness? People are keen to speak in terms of what it looks like, an image. To frame things in terms of how it might move, in what direction is entirely different, and is maybe why Igor noted a book like Time Reborn by Lee Smolin in a video recently shared on his FB timeline. One thought expressed (not just by him but a number of philosophers and physicists including Richard Feynman) is the laws of nature evolves, the implication for the evolution of consciousness are self explanatory – if anyone cares to actually consider the point for what it is.

        Regarding personalities, it would be interesting to see what happens if there is an awakening with someone that has multiple personalities, even in clinically identified dissociative identity disorder. To address that we’d need to address the identification with it being a pathological state, but what if there is no conflict and no suffering in spite of the multiplicity? It could be potentially more functional than having one personality in spite of the typical fearful reaction people have towards it. Not that others would necessarily know anyway if the individual can also be impersonal in how they relate, and they are aware of how people usually react. It would also be interesting if one personality displays awakened behavior but not others, and how that may progress through time. There was someone that took two years to propose to a woman that has multiple personalities, because he addressed every one of the alters. There’s something touching about that isn’t there? But how many people would even consider that as a possibility, let alone give much regard to those suffering from mental illness beyond very general considerations?


    2. Lori Ann Lothian

      I love the fun of a debate, that is one personality trait that has remained. But as for being invested in it, that is far from how I operate. I wrote an article with my “writers’ hat on, to take the material online away from character attacks and shaming (there is a lot of that happening on FB) and to bring a level of thoughtful discourse. The Jill Bolte Taylor information is simply fascinating — and she reports an abiding awakening post stroke. Why is no one commenting on that part of the article I wonder? Why do so many commenters want to come back to the personalities involved versus the ideas?


      1. Mark

        Actually I wasn’t thinking of you at all, but rather the more obvious examples on FB. And of course I did not speak of specific personalities, that was a statement about personality in general, and I wrote two posts below on other things. As far as Jill Bolte Taylor, I watched the TED talk a long time ago but did not read the book so I just don’t have that much to comment. To be honest I also didn’t feel the talk to be as compelling as other found it for whatever reason, but that is just an impression from a long time ago and I don’t have the detailed account from the book.


  83. cityzen

    I think the reason we deny the place of the body is that the body has needs that are met economically – that is, it has material needs. And material needs not only challenge the ostensible liberation offered by esoteric paths – which tell us that we are spirit, and that mind always triumphs over matter – they also rely on community, since it is almost impossible to meet one’s own material needs entirely independently. Relying on community, material needs force us to engage with “other people” (I use quotes because, yknow – “we are one”) and, in the case of our culture, with the larger economy – because we awakened beings haven’t figured out how to support our own independent economy. So that means not only do we have to deal with the different levels of awareness inherent in social relations, we also have to make compromises with money – and oil, and war, and urban planning, and police, etc etc. Until we create a society – even just a small one – that is self-sustaining economically and fully committed to and supportive of the path of awakening, we will continue to produce quick burnouts, confused acolytes, and a hedonistic aesthetic. Even if and when we do create such a society, there will be challenges, but we will be able to focus on those challenges and work on them, without constant disruptions, distractions and derailments.


    1. Mark

      But doesn’t that assume others in community are people?

      Here’s something else people are going to be even less ready for: Co-evolution, even with viruses. But check out this article: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/loom/2012/02/14/mammals-made-by-viruses/#.VBvjhRbaSUk

      “The cells that made syncytin were located only where the placenta made contact with the uterus. They fuse together to create a single cellular layer, called the syncytiotrophoblast, which is essential to a fetus for drawing nutrients from its mother. The scientists discovered that in order to fuse together, the cells must first make syncytin.

      What made syncytin peculiar was that it was not a human gene. It bore all the hallmarks of a gene from a virus.

      There are 100,000 known fragments of viruses in the human genome, making up over 8% of our DNA. Most of this virus DNA has been hit by so many mutations that it’s nothing but baggage our species carries along from one generation to the next. Yet there are some viral genes that still make proteins in our bodies.”

      Our view of ‘human selves’ is so narrow it’s not even funny, but when people say “this disease is caused by a virus” that is precisely the narrow framework they are functioning with, not to mention it is a totally one sided view. It’s a view that relies on popularly accepted “common sense”, rather oblivious to how dualistic that perspective is.

      Maybe we’ll get to a point where people have to be familiar with the biological sciences to really appreciate how far this collaboration goes, (we already know how many bacterial cells are not “ours”) and some may still be telling stories about this teacher or that and the things they said, and
      expounding on how they feel such and such is more of a correct conceptual view, holding the usual heroic figures in their mind that excel in such activity .. having (only human) friends with similar philosophy but still have the same social dynamics as today.. As time goes on it’s not inconceivable that some may progress to a point where their physical morphology may even be significantly different to the naked eye, indeed if we are in a different symbiotic relationships with other life forms it would only logically follow. And change in language or the transcending of symbolic consciousness altogether would make all this behavior look … well, rather silly and not nearly as sophisticated as it may think it is today, even if it understands nonduality conceptually.


  84. Objective Rally Point

    Good article! I would suggest that the issue here is energy, and, yes, kundalini energy to be precise. Yes, the mind, body, and the exterior reality is an illusion. Yes, we are the eternal Observer consciousness watching itself. Yes, we are awakening, and evolving. The thing I would offer is that it is a superpositional process. All is real. All is an illusion. All is a projection of the eternal Consciousness, and it is affecting the superpositional ‘us’ on all levels, simultaneously.


  85. Mark palmer

    At a glance, I took Adya’s comments as merely describing the exacerbation of the virus, and nothing too much more. I think the topic is extremely compelling, but there seems to be a ton of misinformation concerning some traditions–particularly Ch’an/Zen–and their deeming the physical body itself as illusory, which is quite incorrect. The separate self is considered illusory…but not the body as-is. (the West has always been clumsy at interpreting Eastern esoteric teachings…) One last thought…I think U.G. Krishnamurti’s “awakening” is a fascinating account of the re-wiring of the body and the corresponding energies. (see The Mystique of Enlightenment) I haven’t seen anything documented that describes the bodily process post-awakening quite like this. (perhaps we should also acknowledge that not all awakenings are similar…) Great topic!


    1. nondoer2013

      I personally met up with UG,he was living only on a diet of double cream,triple if he could find it,coffee and sometime a little fruit for 40 yrs after his quote “calamity”.Shoot doctors on site was his suggestion..Not only did he dismiss all spiritual teachers as con-men selling bliss..,he dismissed the notion that you want this to happen at all..It is a calamity !!!.The body is not interested in bliss !!.All pursuit of bliss leads to disease..Again this does not sell books,retreats in the new age market place..My personal experience of 16 yrs as this,is very much the same..


      1. Mark Palmer

        Wow…yeah, I seem to recall that about UG. And my own intuition is leaning in this direction, too. We certainly do make up a ton of stuff about enlightenment. That’s actually what led me to U.G.’s conversations. (ironically the Mystique of Enlightenment) I’d also like to question the notion of embodiment…we have a lot spiritual theories, and I think we should put them all on the table for chopping!


  86. Blake

    Ten Signs of a Spiritual Awakening Written Anonymously

    1. Your Sleep patterns change, you feel restless but seem to have more energy. Get used to it and don’t worry. Your body will adjust in time.
    2. Shivers, crawling sensations, tingle on your scalp. Feeling pressure on the crown, like someone is pushing down with a finger. Flashes of great inspiration/creativity/thoughts. Feeling vibration around the head and ears. Don’t worry. This is the opening of the crown chakra and divine energy flowing in.
    3. Sudden waves of emotion. Feeling sad, lonely, happy, angry etc for no reason. This is the release of blocked emotions & can come from the heart chakra. Don’t be hard on yourself. Acknowledge the feelings as they arise and let go of them with love.
    4. Old issues keep coming back and at times you feel very lost. You’re never lost. Face any old issues that arise and deal with them. This is necessary & deeply cleansing.
    5. Your physical body can change. Your eating habits become healthier. Your whole body & mind is changing. This will settle down as you deal with old issues. Your vibration will rise as you surrender with unconditional love.
    6. Your senses increase in their sensitivity. Your 6th sense opens up and you become much more aware of subtle energies. You may begin to see sparkles of light, shadows, balls of energy, grids of light, movement from the corner of your eyes. You may also hear your name being called, voices, humming in your ears, fleeting smells and become aware of ‘someone’ being close to you. These are signs of spirit & your guides. Never fear! Remember that you are always in charge and set down firm rules. Always practice discernment when dealing with spirit.
    7. You begin to see the world with new eyes. You feel loving and at one with everything. Keep in the flow! Be compassionate and loving as best you can and don’t be hard on yourself when you’re having a bad day. Be gentle with yourself as your awareness is expanding.
    8. You will desire more & more to break free of restrictive patterns & old habits that do not serve you anymore. Have courage and do it! Clear out the old to make room for the new.
    9. You begin to notice more & more signs that speak directly to you on a very profound level. They will have great meaning to you as your awareness blossoms.
    10. Synchronicity flows faster. These wonderful events flow when you are on the right path. Meetings, people, numbers, pictures…there are no limits to the ‘coincidences’ that come. Try to feel the message behind and trust your intuition.
    And remember you are not alone.
    Love and Light


    1. Davidya

      Fun list. But sometimes, the opposite can arise as well. Like you become oblivious to emotions. Or desire as Lori mentioned. Or you start craving sweets or some other food to help process or ground.

      Another one is wildly unexpected knowledge or abilities show up.


    2. WayneWirs

      I have to agree with, and continue to experience every one of these “traits” on this list. Do you have a link to where they were posted or some other information where I can dig deeper into their origin? Thanks for posting.


    1. Davidya

      If I may interject, much the same. Adya talks about this in End of Your World also.
      It comes down to what we’ve been willing to let go. There’s usually some mental baggage left behind after the shift. Adya describes a common post-awakening honeymoon followed by some of the old mind junk trying to reassert.

      But here’s an important change from pre-awakening. What arises can be seen through and released. Life itself becomes a process of completion and increasing embodiment. However, if we don’t recognize this, we can get into a battle with what is arising as unwanted or not supposed to, etc. Or we can reinvest in the dramas and stories.

      To use a somewhat extreme example, a friend of mine has a long spiritual practice but was still rather invested in their relationship drama. When they woke up, they had a nice blissful period and then they got back into their drama. Only now, it was totally in their face. No going unconscious about it. Rather than letting it go, they got into an internal battle and ended up being hospitalized with a breakdown. (They’re fine now.)

      The larger issue here is in seeing it for what it is, not treating it like a standard mental illness. The rules change after awakening. Drugged up, you won’t have the clarity to process it.


    2. Mark

      We need more context. Do you mean mental illness that existed before awakening, and what the impact of awakening may be on it, or some sort of mental dis-ease after awakening that did not exist before? What -type- of mental illness?

      Some aspects of mental illness are a matter of difficulty conforming to the existing social norms, which may itself be rather unhealthy to start with, if not just an arbitrary starting point that just happens to be identified with by the majority of the collective. The other day there was an article noting that schizophrenia is actually 8 diseases in terms of the networks involved in the genome, what this does not explain is how it further interacts with the environment, which of course can get really complex really fast.

      Yet if we’re going to look at things from a nondual perspective, how can we only speak in terms of the individual and leave out the context they’re in? The awakened individual does not exist in a vacuum. Rather than framing it in terms of illness, it may be more useful to think of it in terms of how functional it is in context, or just whether there is a harmonious relationship with everything else.

      At least you have a relationship with everything else, before awakening it is pretty isolated in comparison. It may not mean much now, but this means you potentially have support from everything instead of only particular channels like therapy and a limited number of people you know in your social network, and it’s not just people. However as it happens I was recently in a position where someone I met only once ended up being hospitalized at a psychiatric institution for a period of time. Though I’m not the only support somehow I knew I should check in and found out about it. So evidently it isn’t out of the question to have a specific human agent either, but there’s always more happening behind the scenes anyway.


  87. Geoff Sturm

    20 something years ago this body suddenly began experiencing all of the symptoms you are describing,,,the extrovert athlete morphed into introvert seeker of truth…. there was an irrefutable know-ing that a shift in the spiritual awareness of this being-ness was happening……continues and is still happening…. there were no external “guides”or any logical understanding of the happening, ,, just the inner compass calling from the velvet darkness,, knowing beyond knowing the “i” now searches within for god, a holy lamp was kissed alive in the heart,,, quite alone, no role model, no “guru”,, just trust, trust, trust, step step step, feel feel feel…the vaster self makes its presence, makes its home in the body. god wanting to be known, deeply, personally, privately, corporeally.. there are so many beings sharing publicly the awakening and enlightenment….this being stays home on a farm close to animals, trees, gardens, birdsong and all of nature…. the only place that makes any sense at all, feels holy.
    there is a beautiful spiral formed in the body, around the body… a spiral of intense sensations often called pain or discomfort, entwined with a spiral of light, of bliss…
    I often long for a body of light, unencumbered by physical sensations,,,, and that will happen when it happens,,perhaps on earth, perhaps in other realms. it matters not..
    All that matters is that god, light, love inhabit this body. I AM with god, I AM be-long-ing with god, I trust….. sometimes the sweetness of birdsong causes rivers of tears…. sometimes this body feels far too tiny for the vastness of the Great Heart living in and thru it…. gratitude for this opportunity to share


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      So beautifully expressed “sweetdarkmystery” using his friend’s facebook. These lines made my heart soar. “just the inner compass calling from the velvet darkness,, knowing beyond knowing the “i” now searches within for god, a holy lamp was kissed alive in the heart.” Thank you!!


  88. Davidya

    Hi Lori
    Reading the article, I was thinking you were overstating it a bit. Then I read your list of symptoms and admit I’ve had them all, except the migraines. They were completely forgotten. It’s worth noting though that they’re temporary, symptoms of the transition. However, there is also not one transition as some suggest. There are several plus various potential sub-stages. Each brings its own readjusting. The depths this goes to includes places we didn’t even know were part of us.

    It’s also worth noting that this is happening when you’re not so caught. So it’s not like it happens to a me and invokes a drama the same way, as you yourself have described in prior posts.

    There’s another detail to touch on too – that the accelerated evolution post-awakening can bring karma around faster than prior. So some of the events that arise are not the consequence of the purification but the karma. Both are energetic and they can certainly be intertwined too.

    As Adya has said, in the open space of awakening what is unresolved rushes in to be seen and healed.

    Not sure I’d use Jill Bolte Taylor as a good example. There is a big difference between an experience caused by an illness (that passes) and an established shift in being. Further, one can have a real shift and then get overshadowed for a time – the awakening is lost only subjectively. The “subtle” changes of a true shift are cosmic and permanent.

    This points to another issue you sometimes see. Brain changes are not the cause of awakening. Neither is kundalini. These are effects of the process of embodiment. It’s another reason why they vary so much by person. And why passing experiences are not it.

    But I agree – the process is major. Physically, emotionally, psychologically. It’s very useful to have some support through that process and to have a general understanding of it. Then it’s much easier to get out of the way of it and let the healing happen vs getting caught up in some drama and resisting it.

    Also, this in no way diminishes the value of the shift. It’s importance cannot be underestimated.

    I also agree with Igor that it appears Adya doesn’t have the right kind of support. You need to be able to address an issue on it’s own level. A problem that is made worse by presence is something unhealed, not a to-be-expected consequence of it.


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      HI Davidya. All your points resonate here. Although your mention of Jill Taylor is a bit off, when you say: “Not sure I’d use Jill Bolte Taylor as a good example. There is a big difference between an experience caused by an illness (that passes) and an established shift in being.”

      In her book she describes the shift as abiding–for YEARS after the neurological damage to her left brain. She describes herself as boundless and fluid, and only 7 or 8 years after did she finally regain a sense of being solid and separate. But now can choose to navigate awareness from the depths of being or at the surface.

      What grabbed my attention with her book is that I have also seen changes in my husband who had a left brain stroke last month–in essence, he seems to have been gifted a depth of playfulness and equanimity, and joy, that were not apparent pre-stroke. His stroke took a chunk of left brain off line–and it was also a stroke that happned to have no discernible cause….

      I think the body changes as consciousness expands; and as the body changes, consciousness/presence has a roomier space suit. Sort of.

      big hugs, and hope to see you soon!


      1. Davidya

        Ah, thanks, Lori. I saw Jill’s TED talk and several others but didn’t read the book. They were closer to the event. I didn’t know it had lasted so long. I guess my objection is to her interpretation of the experience at the time, that consciousness and nirvana were effects of brain physiology. (ergo can be dismissed as flukes or illusions) It’s better to see part of the brain going off-line as removing a former inhibition to consciousness which pre-exists brain function.

        Brain and mind state certainly have an effect on the qualities of consciousness we experience. They’re simply not causal. But I agree – to maximize the quality of life, we need to take care of the reflector. I’d suggest that’s a better way to see it. Not so much as more room but a better reflection, a more polished mirror.

        I’ve happily run into Igor on the street a couple of times. He’s a little closer than you though. For now. 😉


  89. Monica Dayakar

    That’s so beautifully put, Lori. Yes little is known about the impact of awakening on not only the body, but also on feelings, thoughts and emotions. A profound awakening almost 25 years ago, has left in it’s wake, paradoxically, a veritable tsunami on all these levels, and yet, accompanied by a flat ECG like, flat lined sense of being !! If that makes sense 🙂 And yes…..it does feel like the wiring is being fried……Not much has been written about this, except by Igor, that I know off, and have discussed it a couple of times with him. Have let my inner guru, be my guide, specially as the body still seems to be de-constructing on various levels { the most recent, being 3 months ago, with major surgery for multiple incisional hernia, which led to being put on a ventilator, as I believe, I was not breathing on my own. } And pain…..so unimaginably excruciating…..which I realized, was being released from the cellular level, where, the subconscious mind had stored it. In the recognition of it, and the allowing of it, without wishing it away, or turning away from it……it emptied itself out…..with very faint remnant traces, still lingering……..It is a phase that brings up a great amount of energy play, and can seem to be really messy, difficult, even cruel, as alignment of the whole takes place.

    I guess it started, when my psyche felt that I was strong enough already to undergo this difficult experience. I was utterly surprised by it, I guess because I believed that “there is nothing left in my subconscious”….!!!

    This “cracking open”, phase can be very painful , yet, it is an essential step on the spiritual path.
    Like a rose bud blooming, this is a phase that cannot be forced….it unravels naturally as one ripens…though one might not think so when it does start happening….!!!

    Yet one is able to go through it….without scarring

    It lasts, as long as it last……there’s no way of knowing……and ends when it ends…….


  90. Melissajo123 ATLANTA

    this was Wonderful. fiber optic for God, love it. thank you so much. and in so agreement! wondering if ‘dismissal of the body’ in certain circles fits together with dismissal of the feminine culturally, in the same societal valuing systems? musables. thanks again. Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 07:09:34 +0000 To: meljohanna@hotmail.com


    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Yes. The denial of the body is a denial of the Feminine. The body, the planet, the physicality of reality is Shakti herself. I see the transcendant (heaven) at the expense of the immanent (earth) a pathology in modern spirituality. The two must meet, both the eternal and the finite–otherwise we’ve engaged another duality.


  91. Leo Searle Hawkins

    Hi Lori – I agree with most everything you write. No-one can describe to another what life is like post-awakening. All we can do is “point the way to the Moon” and share our own experience (both of which still have minimal value as there is no technique or practice that brings about awakening, which itself is not an experience …)

    I would like to add that the non-duality teachings point to the quality of Soul-Being that is never touched or harmed or affected by anything the body experiences. I believe this is where the neo-advaita people make their mistake because it is possible to taste the non-dual consciousness of our Self, realise we are immortal and cannot be harmed and the body is not who we are, and then conceptually extrapolate that truth into “the body does not matter and is not affected by awakening”. Which is not true at all.

    The scientific and medical research around mindfulness does us a big favour here. They have proved beyond all doubt whatsoever that meditation changes the way our brains function. Even a few minutes of sitting silently each day can be tracked in the way our brain adapts. This is called “neuroplasticity” and is accepted as fact by the medical and scientific community. How much more so must the massive shift of awakening impact upon our brains and therefore our whole body?

    So we appear to be in an intriguing situation where the neo-advaita people are now lagging behind science.

    The bit about your post I am not so sure of is around the left brain. Mindfulness research on long-time meditating monks shows that they have very different brain functioning in the upper left of the left side of the brain.

    A couple of months ago I was blessed by a deepening of embodiment through an awakening in this same part of my brain. It began with several hours of intense pain in my front upper part of my left brain. Then it shifted into a profoundly deep healing of some long-standing thought structures and the beginning of a new and deeper level of embodied “awakeness”.

    The most important observation I make around awakening, based on 42 years of living from the clear light of knowing I am not this body, is that yes, the body does go through illness and pain post-awakening, and this appears to be part of the ongoing process of dropping deeper into the embodiment of Consciousness – and … who I am as Being is totally unaffected by this embodiment process and all the pain the body experiences.




    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      Yes Leo, i agree that it’s not as simple as “hey everyone, let’s turn off the left brain.” But also, it’s often the language centers and spacial awareness centers of the left brain that can lock us into a perceptual straight-jacket. The greater message is that our neurological system is a key player in how awakening and enlightenment happen through this body (not in spite of it). Thank you for your comments! Much appreciated.


  92. Lisa Kathleen

    This is a terrific post, Lori. I have never considered the body “irrelevant” to awakening and never went much beyond that. I have experienced very dramatic bodily events both immediately before and now consistently after awakening. I am not yet positive that any of these (for myself or others) are due to awakening, for I have not seen that.. Nevertheless I absolutely agree that we all need to own that the body gets bumped and it hurts and what are the hurts that might be directly related to waking up? If more of the awakening ones discuss this then the more we could learn about the tie-ins. Thank you for this….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lori Ann Lothian

      That’s such a key point–if more post-awakenings were also opportunities for learning, if more people were willing to report. Ah, that means going public not only with health issues, but awaKening itself. I still have friends roll their eyes at me because in their world, there is no such thing as enlightenment, let alone side-effects from it. But I keep on reporting here…not teaching. Just reporting.


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